Page 82 - Youth Discipleship Student Textbook

 “It’s not uncommon for the child of a disrupted home to become hard and callused,
seemingly unable to give or receive love. Time usually eases the hurt and heals these
emotions. Students can make silly mistakes when they have shut off their emotions.
They can reject anyone who reaches out to them. They can pretend everything is okay
(when it isn’t).
 This initial rejection can be overcome by persistence – stick with them.
 Misfit self-image
 Sometimes teens can view themselves as being on stage. Because of the divorce, they’re
unsure how people may view them, leading to self-consciousness and low self-esteem.
 Anger
 Can be healthy, but it’s often unhealthy and needs to be addressed.
 Hopelessness may add to the anger.
 Anger can lead to bitterness if not addressed
 Poor communication
 Could come with lack of trust or poor self-image.
 “No one really understands me and what I’m going through because I’m different.”
 Cynicism regarding marriage
 Their primary model for marriage is now broken, so students often feel that what
happened to their parents is normal.
 Fear is behind the cynicism.

So how do you deal with these multiple affects? There is no easy solution, but here are some
suggestions you may consider.

If a youth comes to you from a divorce situation, be sure to provide a supporting and accepting counsel.
Let them talk and share their frustrations and hurt. Talk to them about forgiveness and the grace of
God. Help them see the situation from a larger view. Perhaps God can use this tragedy in their lives to
strength them for a might service to Him. Give them a model from Scripture of a good and God-
honoring marriage. Hopefully give them a glimpse of your marriage as a model. Also, reach out to their
parents and see how you can help in the situation.

I have been involved in counseling parents who have divorced, and after a time, the Lord brought them
back together and reunited their family. It is possible the forgiveness and restoration can come.

Substance Abuse

Students turn to substance abuse for multiple reasons. Quite often, they begin using influencing
substances because of peer influence. Couple that with a desire to be accepted and perhaps a poor self-
image, the are easy prey to the influence of Satan. They may just want to try it out…see what its all
about. They find that drugs and alcohol deaden the pain from which they suffer.

The problem is that substance abuse has tremendous affects on their lives. The stop learning how to
cope with problem but seek escape. Pretty soon, they become addicted to the drugs or alcohol and
cannot stop. They will do anything, including lying, stealing, and all matter of poor behavior to obtain
another fix. So how can a youth pastor help?

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