Page 36 - Pastoral Ministries -Student Textbook

Should a pastor keep kids of other relatives?
Typical African way of life before the emerging of HIV/AIDS and the difficult economic times currently is that
most families always lived in a communal setting and issues of orphans and vulnerable children was not a
huge issue. Such children were engrafted into the families of surviving relatives.

It seems it is getting increasingly difficult to assist all the needs that come to a pastor. The pastor needs to
sit down with his wife and children and consider the size of their house, the available room, the money
available to meet the needs, and offer what they can to help. But the realization is that a pastor cannot help
everyone. It becomes increasingly difficult to limit the assistance that can be provided. Obviously, each
situation is different so priority should be given to those circumstances that most warrant assistance.

As a result of much civilization, couples with other related factors; people are now reasoning differently that
In order for us to understand the pastor’s assignment we must have a clear understanding of pastoral care,
it often helps to start out by considering what pastoral care is not.

Pastoral care does not mean you solve all the problems of people in your care a lot of pastors have that
tendency. Someone will come to you with a certain problem and your first instinct is to start looking for a
possible solution as a scapegoat or avoiding taking responsibility.

You want to be there for that person by way of trying or wanting to help. And a lot of people may begin to
see you as their last resort for their needs. As a pastor you must know your own boundaries, especially when
it comes to practical matters such as finances, housing, problems with government, material or legal issues.
What the pastor can do however, and this may go a lot deeper than mere problem solving, is to come
alongside that relative in need or difficulties.

As a pastor, you should not deceive either yourself or the people you are trying to help as though you exist
to solve all people’s problems. Remember that Jesus Christ healed the sick and helped those who came to
him seeking for help but did not take away all the suffering of this world. In John 17:15 he prays; “My prayer
is not that you take them out of the world, but you protect them from the evil one”. A pastor can take care
of the kids that are not his in accordance to God’s provision.

I Timothy 5:8 Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has
denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

C. How can they prepare themselves to the help of their families and relatives?
Having in mind that most African pastors are not in gainful employment and their financial resources are
limited sometimes tend to be left out in many family decisions especially where demand for financial
contributions are concerned. When possible, pastors should set aside some of their money on a monthly
basis and budget its use for family needs. But it is inevitable that in some cases, the pastor will have to learn
how to say “no” to some requests. The pastor cannot give away his own family’s food or clothing funds to
save face among extended family or friends.

5.4 Let’s Practice…

1 – 4. List four of the seven obligations a pastor has to his children:

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