Page 33 - Pastoral Ministries -Student Textbook

Reconciling Relationships

1. Sometimes Work, Sometimes Family

Though he does not realize it, his is not a case where one role should supersede all others at all times. A
more realistic picture of the pastor’s competing roles is to say that the demands of any specific role may
take precedence over the demands of others.

2. Responsibilities Interlock

What Harmon calls for is a “most beautiful interlocking of work and duties. The better the father, the better
the pastor; the better the guide for the children of others, the better the guide for one’s own children.” This
is the balance which every pastor should strive.

Obligations to His Family

1. Provide for Their Physical Needs
2. Spend Quality Time with Them
3. Be There for Dinner
4. Make Bed-time a Happy Time for the Child
5. Be Creative in Finding Time with Older Children
6. View Their Actions Realistically
7. Maintain a Private and a Public Life for Them

The Marriage Transcends Children

It is of upmost importance that the pastor always consider his wife his best friend and his children his next best
friends. Both the wife and the children should be respected and their attitudes taken into consideration when
major decisions are made that will have dramatic effects on them. In conveying these ideals to his children, it is
important that the pastor convey that his wife is his best friend and the most important person in his life.
Marriage is for life and children are only loaned to parents for an indefinite period of time.

The High Importance of the Family

Although the church is the most important institution on earth, the family runs a close second. If his family is
destroyed or it fails, a pastor’s ministry in the church may be brought to a calamitous end. Therefore there are
times when the needs of his family should take clear precedence over those of the church members or the
demands of his job. There may come a time when he will need to remove himself from the ministry for a short
period so that he can more properly meet the needs of his family. Then when he returns to the pastorate, he
will do so with a firm family base upon which to build his new ministry. Next to his relationship with God, there
are no more important relationships than those of a husband and wife and a father and his children. Those
relationships must be preserved at all costs.

The Pastor and Children

Challenges for Children growing up in the Pastor’s home

There are a number of challenges that must be recognized by the pastor regarding his children and the
church.

32