Page 29 - Pastoral Ministries -Student Textbook

C. Her Home Reflects Discipline and Generosity

D. She Develops Supportive Friendships

In ministering to herself, a pastor’s wife should have a good friend besides her husband. Many books insist
that a pastor’s wife cannot have a close friend in the church her husband serves. I disagree. There is not a
more natural place to look for a friend than in the body. Although a friend is a person who likes us and
supports us in good times and bad, a good friend is not necessarily the person upon whom we dump
everything that bothers us.

E. Her Husband is Her Best Friend

A wife’s best friend should be her husband. We have referred already to what he may expect of her. There
are many things she should ask of him, in turn. Because the children are equally theirs, she should expect
him to arrange for a time each week when she is released from her mothering responsibilities so that she
and her husband can do something enjoyable together that has nothing to do with church duties.

F. She Keeps in Touch with Family

It is important for the pastor’s wife to maintain close relationships with her parental family, especially if it is
supportive. Periodic vacation visits to parental homes may provide a valuable source of psychological and
emotional renewal.

G. She Maintains Her Relationships to God

This is most important. Despite, or should I say because of, her demanding schedule, she needs to set a
definite time each day to be alone with the Lord and in His Word. Nothing will defeat her sooner than a lack
of spiritual resources.

Advice from a Pastor’s Wife

Any chapter about the pastor’s wife will be incomplete without words from a pastor’s wife. Take heed from the
words of woman who has always been a better pastor’s wife than her husband has been a pastor. Her advice is:

1. A wife should never criticize her husband’s messages. When asked, point out the good points and
possibly, how he could improve.
2. Never attempt to pry information out of her husband following a counseling session. That is a private
matter between her husband and the person he has counseled.
3. A pastor’s wife should keep her home a welcome one.
4. At the church building, the pastor’s wife should be friendly to everyone, not just to her special friends.
5. A pastor’s wife should be a good listener and slow to give advice.
6. The pastor’s wife should speak cautiously. Many times, it’s better to leave things unsaid.
7. How busy a wife wants to be in the church should depend not only on her own abilities, but how busy
her husband wants her to be.

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