Page 26 - Pastoral Ministries -Student Textbook

For too long, the role of a pastor’s wife has been misunderstood. Most people believe that a pastor's wife should
be able to sing or maybe the key player in managing ministry with her husband. Many times, people would love
to treat her the same way her husband who is the pastor is considered. Her credentials should include the ability
to speak in front of an audience. Not forgetting that her children should be the best behaved in the church. She
should always be dressed appropriately and regardless of her schedule, she should attend every church gathering
and function without fail.

For the record sake, not every pastor's wife can sing or play an instrument. Most pastor's’ wives are not at all
comfortable about speaking in front of people. Our children are usually given the highest expectation among all
the children in the Church, we don't always wear the right clothes, and we usually don't have the energy to
attend every function. Typically speaking, as a pastor’s wife, I am expected to sleep at every funeral house during
loss of any member of the Church of the days before burial. On the day of burial if the one who has died is a
female, the pastor’s wife is supposed to lead the women in preparing the body of the deceased.

Like so many women, I relate with the biblical story of Esther. Her parents had died, and she was raised by a
family member. Her story begins with the banishing of the present Queen Vashti. The king is persuaded by his
servants to gather all the young virgins to search for a new queen, so that the young woman who pleased the
king would become be queen, replacing Vashti. The king thought it was a brilliant idea. These women would be
taken to the palace and undergo 12 months of beauty treatments before they were allowed to be seen by the
king.

I'm sure Esther was full of self-doubt when she was going through this preparation. Why would the king want to
choose me? Am I ready for this position? When the turn came for Esther to go before the king, the Bible says that
she found favor in his sight and gained his approval more than any of the other virgins. Everyone, especially the
king, was moved by her beauty. The Bible says that she was both lovely and beautiful.

So, he set a royal crown on her head and made her the new queen. In other words, she won the beauty pageant
and she got to marry the king. What an amazing story! I'm sure that her family and friends were so happy for
her, and as one would imagine, her name became great in that kingdom and is still spoken of today.

Everyone was amazed at her apparent success and her new position, but only Esther knew the pain and the loss
she had experienced as a child. No one truly knew her story and all she had been through. Behind all the
admiration and glamour, there was a young and inexperienced woman stepping into an unknown world. Though
Esther was royal, she would soon discover that she had a real enemy who would threaten her life and that of her
family.

Like Esther, I sometimes have thoughts of doubt and insecurities. Why me, God? I don't know that I can handle
the pressure of this position. Will I ever be ready for this? Am I ‘pastor's wife’ material? At times during my early
years of ministry, I found myself not responding promptly whenever people addressed me by this title. Through
the years, God has assured me that I can certainly handle the pressure, and that there really isn't a pattern or a
mold for a pastor's wife. I am not what the world says I am or what I should be.

We are all God's unique design, gifted and talented in many ways and strong enough to conquer giants by the
grace and power of God, yet sometimes too weak to go to battle. Like many, we make mistakes, but we learn
from them. Just like Esther, we fight for our family, our marriage, and our children. We may face many threats
but remember we have been called to the Kingdom for such a time as this.

Be confident in the gifts and talents God has given you. Some gifts will flourish in God's time. Don't be afraid to
step out and attempt the impossible. God gets excited when we dare to do all that he calls us to do. Be an Esther

25