Page 28 - Pastoral Ministries -Student Textbook

D. A Wife and Helper to Her Husband

Probably the most important role of the pastor’s wife is that of wife and helper to her husband. If there are
a number of preschool children at home, whether or not his wife is employed outside the home or not, the
pastor should schedule regular periods each week for his wife to spend in ways she finds fulfilling.

Her Relationship to Her Husband

A. Keeping Herself Attractive and Desirable

The special relationship of the pastor’s wife to her husband is an exceedingly important one. There are few
positions placing as many demands on and as much pressure upon the professional as the pastorate.
Moreover there are few vocations presenting so many opportunities for marital infidelity as the pastorate.
There are several ways in which a pastor’s wife can make sure that does not happen to her husband.

First, she has an obligation not only to her husband but to herself as well to keep herself as attractive in
appearance as possible. Second, she needs to do everything possible to keep herself attractive inwardly.
Then, she needs to cultivate the art of becoming the best lover her husband could ever want. As she
becomes sensitive to his emotional needs, and if necessary, teaches him how to be responsive to hers, he
will find no need to ever stray unless he has serious psychological issues for which he should seek counsel.

B. Raising godly Children

Although no one should expect a pastor’s children to be perfect, they
should expect that his children will be raised in a climate of love and
discipline. The pastor’s family ought to be a model family. Often it is easy
for a mother to mete out love but leave disciplinary matters to the
father. It is better if both partners share in providing love and discipline for the children. To be able to do
that requires great wisdom; and such wisdom is built upon careful observations bathed in prayer. When we
consider the complex job of raising children, we are aware that it is the task in life for which we are least
prepared. No human job demands more teamwork, and the team must be composed of the husband and
wife, the Holy Spirit, and the child himself all working together in harmony.

Her Obligations to Herself

The pastor’s wife must learn to be herself. However, before she must learn to be herself, she may need to
discover who she really is.

A. The pastor’s wife is special
She needs to remember that she is a unique human being. She is like no other human ever created and the
combination of talents, abilities, and gifts she has is different from anyone else’s. Because of who she is,
there are things she can do and other things she cannot do. The pastor’s wife needs to come to the place
where she accepts who she is.

B. Maturity Tempers her individuality
While learning to be herself, she should learn to assert her uniqueness in ways that will not repel and offend
people. Her dress and actions should conform to what is considered acceptable behavior in the particular
culture in which she has been placed to minister.

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