Page 42 - LockDown Poetry 2020

-------- lockdown poetry --------

Plus

Nomvula Mashiyane

I didn't know you
beyond the utterances

made by voices that weren't familiar with me;

None of those utterances drove me towards you.

None of them created the desire to explore you, to

unpack you.

If anything,

every utterance saw me lay a brick on a wall

that was meant to separate me from you.

I spent more time digesting the toxicity I was fed,

and it never mattered how filled to capacity I was –

there was always room for it.

I was a puppet in a journey that was meant to be mine;

a journey that was meant to be defined by me.

When one string led me to the left,
another led me to the right

and more often than not,

I'd find myself almost being ripped apart
because of the distinction between the two.

It was this very distinction that birthed my voice;
The utterances I had consumed prior

trembled at the sound of it,

almost became non- existent.

I came face to face with you,

and had to define you in a way that pleased me;

41