Page 22 - Fables volume 3

The Stork’s Lament

Their paths rarely crossed. Not until he was delivering still-born
septuplets to a fertility clinic could the Stork confront the Reaper.
“See here,” began the bird. “We need to talk. If things don’t
improve soon, you will be coming for me.”
Always appreciative of gallows humor, the hooded psychopomp
laughed—a sound of snapping dry twigs or desiccated gristle.
“Improve? My business is good. Nice steady increase over the
years; the odd bump in war or natural disaster, but I can handle it.”
The Stork snorted. “Don’t be obtuse. It may well be, as per the
terms of our employment, that one birth will inevitably yield one
death, but for the past century my workload has increased much
faster than yours.”
“Not my doing: blame modern medicine, increased crop yields,
anti-birth control ideologies.”
“So you think it is simply the result of human meddling in the
balance of life and death?” The Stork was skeptical. “I don’t care.
The fact is that I am processing way more people than you are. It’s
not fair.”
The Reaper spread his arms in protest, narrowly missing a midwife
with his scythe. “If you want to look at equity, consider this: you can
fly, lazily flapping those big wings of yours, high above the weather
and every sort of obstacle. I, however, must trudge along on foot in
this heavy woolen outfit. Sheer numbers don’t do justice to the
amount of effort I make compared to you.”
“But this birth rate shows no signs of lowering! I’m suffering!”
The Reaper’s sympathy, if any, was not evident. “Stop whining,” he
said grimly. “It won’t be long before the situation shifts in the other
direction, and my clients start piling up fast and thick. Did you really
think disequilibrium on this scale could last forever? I will soon be
making a dozen pick-ups for every one of your deliveries. No doubt I
will be complaining then about whole cities of the dead to be cleaned
out in a timely fashion. And then it will be over, and we can resume a
reasonable pace. Nature abhors a vacuum, not the vacuum cleaner.”

21