Page 42 - Fables volume 3

Dr. Doodlebug

One morning Dr. Doodlebug, senior shrinkbug at Desert Sands
Neuropsychiatric Hospital, was making Grand Rounds with three of
his residents and a new intern, Dr. June Bug.
The first patient they encountered was exhausted after a night of
tracing out an intricate series of loops. One of the residents cast a
raking light over the design to make it more visible from the
physicians’ vantage point.
“Well, June,” said Dr. Doodlebug. “What is your diagnosis?”
She considered the lines. “I see a consistent pattern of
levorotational hodology here; it exceeds any random chance of
occurrence. My preliminary finding, therefore, would be OCD.”
“Very good,” said the department head. “You have learned a basic
principle of our work. It is a mistake common among amateurs
attempting to do our job to look at the whole doodle; it is equally of
questionable utility to study its parts. No, by definition it is the path
that presents pathology. I have prescribed treatment for obsessive-
compulsive disorder in this case.”
They moved on to the next patient, an antlion still at its task. But
the tell-tale signs of behavioral abnormality were revealed in its
doodle, a series of tight advances and retreats from a central point of
origin in the hospital’s medical-grade sand. Again the elder shrinkbug
solicited his junior’s conclusions after careful examination.
“This is clearly symptomatic of an advanced state of irrationality.
The subject has overridden its instinctive maximizing search pattern,
involuntarily revealing an advanced stage of disease. I don’t think I
could define the specific inner conflict manifest here without a better
sample. Is it always the same doodle? That could be crucial.”
The chief nodded his feelers approvingly. “Yes, a conservative
approach is often advisable. However, I can confirm that over several
days of observation this patient has walked the same walk. Now what
do you think?”
“In that event,” said the intern, “the diagnosis is a textbook case of
bipolar disorder with a strong inferiority complex. I would look for
evidence of self-harm and substance abuse, of course. Therapy is
likely to be a long slow process.”

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