Page 43 - Fables volume 3
P. 43

Dr.  Doodlebug  looked  at  his  residents.  They  nodded.  June  was
        going  to  be  a  valuable  addition  to  staff  during  her  time  at  Desert
        Sands.  He  had  performed  her  analysis  himself;  she  had  overcome
        transference  admirably,  leaving  behind  the  parataxic  distortion
        common in immature cognition.
          “Now,” he said, “I want to show you how to handle a very special
        case.  The  patient’s  doodles  look  perfectly  normal—but  they  lack
        spontaneity—they  have  none  of  the  absent-minded  off-course
        wandering and tiny hesitations indicating environmentally-ambiguous
        stimuli that a healthy insect inevitably makes and are evident to the
        trained  eye.  Thus  we  see  an  effort  to  conceal  deep-seated  fears  of
        exposure. But we cannot learn more from such an opaque surface.
        The only recourse is free association by the patient.”
          They  came  to  a  doodle  that  indeed  looked  picture-prefect.  Its
        creator approached the senior shrinkbug.
          “Doc,  can  I  go  home  now?  I’m  perfectly  fine,  but  nobody  will
        believe me.”
          “Any day now, Mr. Ferox. I wonder if you could help me out by
        telling me what you see in these doodles.” Dr. Doodlebug produced
        a stack of doodle images generated by a computer. “What does this
        look like?”
          The  patient  considered  the  first  printout  with  his  head  cocked.
        “Oh, that’s two bedbugs copulating in a motel room.”
          “I see,” said the senior shrinking, giving his colleagues a significant
        look. “And this one?”
          “That’s  easy:  a  couple  of  ladybugs  doing—well,  something  they
        should not do in public, let me say that!”
          June blushed.
          “Here’s another one.” The senior analyst was relentless.
          Ferox giggled. “Oh, you know what that is, Doctor: a tumblebug
        threesome, each doing the nasty while it’s getting done to them.”
          At  this,  Dr.  June  Bug  could  not  contain  herself,  and  forgot  the
        years of training that had brought her to this point in her career.
          “Sir! You certainly are obsessed with sex!”
          “Me?” exclaimed Ferox, outraged. “What about him: showing me
        all those dirty pictures? He’s no doctor—he’s a humbug!”


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