Page 27 - The Gluckman Occasional Number One

“And bitten a few of them in the neck after the performance, I
suppose,” said the dog. “You don’t impress me with all that show-
business hoopla. Now give me one good reason why I shouldn’t
pulverize you pestering parasites.”
Karpechki pushed his way through the fringe of fur around Trixie’s
outer ear. “Dog, your insults are laughable. The truth is that you
are dependent upon us.”
“What? Nonsense!” She shook her head, flapping both ears.
“Hey, Rube!” shouted Karpechki. The other fleas rushed to grab
his legs before he could be flung away.
“Dog, listen to me,” said Stellanova sweetly. “We need your help,
and not just as a walking smorgasbord. But you must understand the
basis of our relationship. Then perhaps you will cooperate.”
“All right,” said Trixie, resting her head between her forepaws.
“But it better be good.”
“I don’t know how to break it to you gently, old girl, but why do
you think you have been kept on here at the amusement park long
after your performing days were over?”
“That’s obvious,” replied the dog indignantly. “The boss
appreciates my long years of service as Trixie the Captivating Canine
Clown. I had ‘em rolling in the aisles. Nobody needed a magnifying
glass to see my act.”
“No, that won’t do,” said the diminutive trapeze artist. “Look
what happened to Rollo the Dancing Bear when he got arthritis, or
to what’s-his-name the mynah bird who couldn’t remember his
lines—and then there was that educated hamster who’d pee on the
stage if anyone booed.”
“Just what are you getting at?” Trixie grew angry.
“I’m trying to tell you that the management keeps you on simply as
a catering truck for us, the current headliners. If we didn’t have a
stable diet, we might jump on some passing stray and wind up ten
miles from here. The owner is no fool.”
“Ay-ay-ay!” yelped Trixie. “Why did you have to tell me that? It
can’t be true! Awwrooo!”
The fleas waited patiently while their hostess snuffled and whined
piteously, bemoaning her ill-treatment and exploitation. Finally she
was still.
“Dog,” began Gurmovnik, “we have revealed all this in order to
gain your assistance. Now, listen carefully to our problem. We need