Page 27 - Unlikely Stories 1

DeathCon

“That’s absolutely correct. This is the first truly international and
democratic arms bazaar in the world! Our motto is, ‘Money talks with
one voice.’ It would have been, ‘The best defense is a good offense,’
but that one has already been taken by the government. We’re
following the best principles of capitalism here: a level battleground,
and demand can always be supplied—if not stimulated! Here, just
come with me past this metal detector. We’ve already cleared your
cameraman and sound crew.” (Loud beep.) “Oops! What’s that in
your pocket, Buell? Are you packing?”
“Ha-ha! I plumb forgot about my grandfather’s derringer. I
thought I might find a buyer for it here after the interview.”
“Sorry, Buell! You’d have to pay the dealer’s fee if you want to do
that. And this isn’t ‘Antiques Roadshow.’ Anyway, by the looks of it,
that thing is liable to blow up in your hand if you ever try to fire it. If
you want something small and lethal for personal use, we can cruise
the concealed weapons tables in aisle five later. Just check in your
piece here with Annie O., and we’ll take a look at some newer gear.”
“Right. I can hear some sort of performance going on out by the
parking lot, but we can drop in on that later. Let’s go down here,
Thyssen: looks interesting.”
“Yes, indeed, Buell. The people in these booths are the stars of the
future, the inventors and innovators with visions waiting to be tested
by the marketplace. And they’re facing some very discriminating
shoppers.”
“Well, I don’t want to break up a potential sale. Let’s go see what’s
on offer at this booth: nobody in front of us. Hello there! I’m Buell
Bauser, and you’re on ‘Wonders Never Cease.’ And you are?”
“Basil Undershaft, vice president of sales for Nemesys Solutions.
Nice to meet you, Buell—and your viewers.”
“Wow! Look at this, folks—but what is it?”
“That’s our new model, Dystrustor Mark 3. We’ve doubled the
range and cut the power requirements in half using state-of-the-art
crystalline vibronics and refinements in neural oscillation capture. But
those are proprietary technical details we would provide only to our
clients.”

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