Page 5 - Unlikely Stories 4

Quintessence

genes, the recent history of our economy is littered with inventions
that failed, or succeeded and were rapidly replaced with the next
generation of a very similar device. The guys who are first to market
and then cash out are the ones making all the dough, and the rest of
us are stuck with planned obsolescence and debt servicing. But that’s
another story, and you probably don’t need to hear it.
So, what happened next? I didn’t know it at the time, but I had
probably been hired not to sell medical devices—prosthetics,
wheelchairs, body braces; things like that—but to be a test subject for
Quintessence. Age, family status, economic bracket—that kind of
stuff—qualified me. That is, I had experience with all four types of
female, and after I’d been with the company for a year or so they had
a good idea of my personality. In retrospect, my salary, apart from
commissions, did seem a bit high; but that was no reason to
complain!
At any rate, I was sent off to a five-day sales conference for new
products at a hotel out of state. This was not unusual, so I went. My
wife was able to manage without me—no jokes, please!—and my
daughter had just started kindergarten. No sooner had I checked into
my room when there was a knock on the door. I opened it to see a
young woman wearing a registration tag like mine on her blouse. It
read ‘Mary Ann Quinnett, New Products’.
She greeted me by name, and I suddenly realized she was not
human. That was a shock: or, at least, it must have been, because all I
really remember is that she immediately put me at ease. The first
session I had to attend didn’t start for several hours, so I had no
objection to going down to the bar with her for a drink. No, of
course she didn’t drink! Or eat. Or go to the bathroom, or sweat or
sneeze. But I needed a stiff shot of something, and she sensed that.
We chatted, and it wasn’t long before I felt completely comfortable
around her. I thought about having a second drink, but before I
could even open my mouth to call the bartender she had talked me
out of it. And I didn’t feel like I had been managed by a nanny.
Well, Mary Ann was with me for most of that conference.
Somehow I got more out of the presentations than I normally would
have, thanks to her reviewing the salient points with me afterward.
And she acted both as someone who needed protection or provided

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