Page 20 - Like No Business I Know

Chiropuncture

movements I liberated from the office of you-know-who in the
economics department. They are still trying to figure out what
happened to American-made electronic appliances down there.
Hopeless.

mark@hotlink.com
01/17/97

Eureka! This has got to be it, man! We are on our way to Fat City.
Chiropuncture hits about eight dimensions. And it fits a niche
nobody else has discovered. I went through your output with a fine-
tooth comb, and it looks perfect. But it’s all numbers and codes. Let
me recap in plain English.

Chiropuncture, a new and patentable technique of treating and
adorning the human body, will be launched in our city; then, once it
catches on and any legal problems are resolved, we’ll rake in millions
from investors eager to get in on the ground floor and start opening
salon/clinics all over the country. The worldwide distribution rights
or license fees alone will be worth millions. You and I should be able
to suck it dry and get out each with a very substantial nest egg.

Those eight high-scoring dimensions are:

1..Teen-age and “outsider” chic: millions of conforming
nonconformists craving to make the same statement on their skins.
Simple body piercing and tattoos have saturated the market—it’s
ready for something new and daring.

2. Political correctness and rights for the handicapped: blind people
have been denied the appreciation of tattoos. The dotted cicatrix
lines or keloid scars of chiropuncture will be like braille to them. Not
just a new segment of the population to exploit, but great potential
for advertising and publicity.

3. Manicure mania: the sharp pointed artificial nails required to
perform chiropuncture will become a status symbol, appealing to
another demographic entirely—the down-market styling fiends—but
reinforcing the general public recognition of the technique through
the media.

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