Page 29 - Fables volume 2

The Human Hoax

“Professor! Professor! Come out of your burrow and look at this!”
The old monotreme thought for a few seconds, balancing the
urgency of his student’s voice against his desire to enjoy his late
afternoon nap without interruption.
“All right, I’m coming,” he finally quacked. “But it better be
important.”
“It is, Professor! I found a brand new species!”
Blinking, Professor Platypus waddled down the bank into the
fading sunlight. “Well, what is it? Looks like a dead monkey, probably
fell into the river showing off and drowned.” He poked at the corpse,
turning it face up.
“See, Professor! It has a—”
“Keep quiet, hatchling! How can I examine this thing if you keep
on babbling?”
The assistant squirmed and flailed his limbs. Ah, youth, thought his
elder.
“Now pay attention, and learn to be systematic. First, we can
determine from the body’s stiffness and degree of waterlogging that it
has been in the water for about two days. Given the rate of flow at
this season, it has been dead long enough to have come from beyond
our songline.”
“I thought so!” The younger creature could not repress his
enthusiasm. “Then it might be something we’ve never seen before.”
“Silence! I haven’t finished. You leap to conclusions. It could have
died anywhere upriver, left in the water for two days, and arrived here
after a very short journey. And you are too eager to exploit our
ignorance of Waugal’s entire creation. We know what is in our
dreamtime, and must remain skeptical of anything apparently new.
Please,” said the Professor, flexing his venom-tipped spur, “keep
your opinions to yourself, do not blaspheme, and stop thumping
your tail.”
His assistant complied, showing signs of imperfectly-learned
submission and contrition.

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