Page 30 - Fables volume 2

The professor snuffled about the corpse. “Yes, a monkey, not
much fur but it could have fallen out in the water. Legs a bit longer
than average, shoulders somewhat wider, forehead higher. Perhaps it
was considered a freak by its tribe and had to be ritually murdered.
No phenomena here inconsistent with primate identification.”
“But, Professor, I’m trying to tell you—look at its right paw!”
“Yes, I see it. A thin branch stripped of twigs and leaves, tapering
to a point at one end.”
The young platypus twitched with excitement. “Then it must be
part monkey and part tree! That makes it a new species, doesn’t it?”
“It does not, you slithering platypup! Where is the woody growth
on its other limbs? It must obey the law of bilateral symmetry! Bah!
Here, let me examine that excrescence up closer.”
The professor clawed at the primate extremity, breaking its rigor
mortis. The stick rolled away, fell in the river and floated away. The
assistant blinked in amazement.
“There: you see! The animal and plant kingdoms did not
promiscuously cohabit and produce a sport of nature! Waugal would
not countenance such a jest. But some of your cohort might enjoy a
practical joke at your expense. No doubt they are hiding in the weeds
over there now, laughing at you.”
“You mean—”
“Yes, my ignorant little fellow. Someone found a dead monkey and
put a twig in its paw, knowing it would look as if it had grown there.
But you have just seen the falsity of that appearance. There is no
wood monkey in this or any other dreamline. It is a hoax.”
And his assistant shamefacedly plopped into the river, as the old
debunker retreated to his burrow, satisfied that nothing new was
under the sun.

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