Page 3 - Fables volume 1

How his Son-in-Law Earned the Great Lizard’s Displeasure

“Of course not. You were but a hatchling when Younger Sister
came up with the mosquito design: quick-breeding, bite-size and
equipped with a pleasing hum to announce its presence. Not to
mention an advanced hydraulic system for filling up fast with nutrient
solutions. Wonderful. We were all licking our chops in anticipation.
Then Second Cousin raised an important point—didn’t you?”
The reptile thus referenced squirmed in place and said defensively,
“All I said was that we had to set up a domesticated species for the
mosquitos to feed upon.”
“And you proposed the specifications.”
“Well, they made sense, given the mosquitos’ requirements: warm-
blooded and slow-moving, with a thin hairless skin in high ratio to
body volume.”
“And how was such a defenseless creature supposed to survive
among the better-protected, faster, tougher predators we had already
created for our amusement? I believe it was my dear Brother who
supplied the answer to that question.”
A large lizard squatting near the Chief stirred and croaked, “But it’s
obvious, Omnificence, that weapon-making requires intelligence.”
“And weapon-breaking?”
Another uncomfortable silence enveloped the group. Son-in-law’s
stomach growled loudly; a brief titter broke out among a clump of
hatchlings.
“Come, come,” barked the Great Lizard. “I’m not going to
reinitialize the world until I’ve heard a healthy amount of self-
criticism. It should be clear by now how the situation started. Do you
see how it was compounded?”
The heads of those in the know swiveled toward Son-in-law. “I was
just following the homeopathic principle you taught us,
Grandiloquence,” he said, a bit shrilly. “If intelligence could lead them
into building doomsday armaments, then surely it could lead them out.
I tried everything: mass publicity, international organizations and
conferences, distribution of material aid to disadvantaged sectors—
even thinking machines whose conclusions were beyond reproach.”
“And what was their response?”
“Well, they did start reproducing at a rapid rate; that was good for
the mosquitos.” The Great Lizard glowered at him. He hastily

2