Page 7 - Psychoceramics and the Test of Fire

Prologue

“Don’t give that another thought, Mr. Baker. I have excellent legal
and financial advice in-house. Although I have taken pains to remain
at arm’s length with regard to the outcome of these projects, let me
assure you that the accounting transactions enabling money to flow
to you will be crafted to prevent this expenditure from becoming
burdensome to Hog Wild. And the burden I will be lifting from my
mind will justify the real cost in dollars to me. I am ready to give you
a bit more detail if you are interested. I do know that you are as
decisive as I am, but without the regrets.”
I shook my head. “You may know me well enough to predict my
answer, but I have a few questions, if you don’t mind. First: why me?
Tell me, honestly, how many applicants you rejected and what it was
about me that led to this interview?”
Al Magnus drew down his cocktail to about half a glass before
answering. His words, as always, were precise and without much
hyperbole.
“Every human being is a congeries of qualities, a set of points
along axes established by nature and nurture, culture and biology. It
was my analysis of what it takes to deal with brilliant, complicated
people in a wide range of fields of endeavor that led me to develop a
unique multivariate algorithm; into it I can plug a series of ratings in
those categories or dimensions I deem relevant to the task at hand. I
call it the Personnelyzer. Suffice it to say I have already tested and
proven this method in my business; the people in key positions at
Hog Wild are very effective in what they do, as a result. I treated this
new role—soon to be yours, I trust—in the same manner. The
program also keeps personal preference and prejudice at bay: the
numbers cannot lie, if their component variables are posted honestly.
As this is a proprietary process, one which would become useless if
everyone knew how it worked and could thereby skew its input, I
cannot divulge its finer points to you. I will say that predictive power
correlates positively with analytical complexity; that relationship
should be obvious, but what I have done with it is not. You need
know only that you scored high in several key areas, including the
ability to dissimulate, the possession of a personality both confident
and non-threatening, and an age, height and weight closely fitting the
ideal for the representative of either a non-profit organization or a
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