Page 105 - Labelle Gramercy, Detective

Cat’s Paw

sophisticated technology of crime detection. The methodologies
described in the following chapters may well be obsolete by the
time you read them—if they have been overused. A small amount
of research on your own part, therefore, is essential. Check the
publication date on the back of the title page. Do a bit of discrete
and anonymous reading at a library where you are not known. If
any or all of the scams I am about to describe have been exposed,
as a result of either a suspicious increase in frequency or a
particularly egregious bungled attempt, then you are on your own.
In that case, buying the book may still be justified as a stimulus to
your own imagination in developing a new means of terminating
your existence without denying your survivors the benefits of your
life-insurance policy.
That policy should be well in place before your fatal “accident”
occurs. Auditors constantly search for actuarial anomalies in the
data accompanying large claims. For the same reason, do not
choose a method out of character for you. If you are known to be
acrophobic, slipping off a rock face in Yosemite is a poor choice.
Pacifists should avoid mishandling newly-purchased firearms; men
unaccustomed to long baths ought not to be found electrocuted in a
tub. Rather, choose a plan plausibly arising out of your normal
circumstances and activities. If an unusual occurrence (the
“trigger,” as described below) is required to precipitate your
downfall, keep it simple and within the realm of probability; for
instance, absent-mindedly leaving one’s prescription sunglasses in
a restaurant booth before driving alone on a mountain road into a
glaring setting sun is quite credible—unless those glasses are
usually attached to a chain around one’s neck.
If common sense is not your strong suit, so much the better for
making your “accident” seem almost inevitable (the leading cause
of misadventure is carelessness, not any specific means of
execution). But that lack will have to be offset by greater effort and
concentration on your part. The author has anticipated many of the
concerns you may have about the techniques presented in this
book; they are dealt with at the end of each chapter. For some of
you, however, the basic concern is moral or spiritual. Is it “wrong”
to kill yourself or to defraud your insurer? If your ultimate

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