Page 150 - The Legacy of Abraham Rothstein - text

Marriage and departure

When I came over to this country, I brought with me my religious
training and Talmudic learning, and continued to attend to religious
duties. Sometimes on Sabbath day I studied my Talmud in one of the
great places like the Mir synagogue at Henry and Montgomery Street.
But after my dreams were shattered I lost interest in my religion and
became materialistic. When I see nowadays how people marry,
divorce, and remarry over and over again, and how they are written
up in the newspapers as being romantic, and how they go through
the marriage ceremony and honeymooning with all that fanfare—all
this looks to me not only ridiculous, but a travesty on those romantic
poems and stories which we used to consider as classics. I believe
that no woman can again feel or have those emotions of the first
meeting when she hears the declaration of love in her ears. Neither
can a man feel again the same as he felt when declaring his love and
devotion to the first woman he loved.
Fannie had been misled by her aunts, who thought she was too
young to choose a husband, and that she was worth a better husband
than a working man. But it is hard for anyone, man or woman, to
escape from their own feelings and adopt others’ reasoning. As much
as I struggled to overcome the suffering of my emotions, she
probably had the same thoughts, but could not decide. It was late in
November that year, near Thanksgiving, when one evening as I sat in
the kitchen reading the Yiddish paper, she asked me if I wanted to
give her a Hebrew lesson. I was surprised, but calmly consented
without showing any great desire, since I did not want to increase
that pain in my heart. It had been many months since we broke up
our friendship. During that period I remained as gloomy as I look
today—which is no discredit to me today, because close to seventy a
man looks at life in a different manner.
It turned out that she planned and executed a reconciliation so
cunningly and boldly that it surprised me. Of course, I never had
dealings with women, but when I think of it today, I still must say she
was a smart young girl. That evening Fannie was bright and pleasant
and made an effort to read well, which only gave me more
suffering—which is human nature. After she read a little she
proposed taking a walk on the Williamsburg Bridge, and I was willing
to do her bidding. It was November, as I said, and the weather was
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