Page 197 - The Legacy of Abraham Rothstein - text

Old age and the future

family of ours. We lived a simple life, but there were many
incidents—little accidents and pleasures, the weddings of two
daughters, grandchildren—which were interesting to us in many
ways, and which are worth recording, if I could get myself together
and drive away the dark cloud from my head.
Since I wrote the above words, I had to go to work on the old and
tedious job, and with all the working and cooking and keeping
house—besides the hot weather which tires your body and mind—I
did not have time, energy or will to write. Lassitude overtook my
desire to do anything but necessary physical labor to sustain my
being. Thoughts that come into the mind which one fails to express
on paper just fade away, then other thoughts float through the mind
and all is blurred like a confused dream.
From my observations and experience I find that one’s friends are
most of the time of one’s own economic standing. The well-to-do
person will, as a rule, associate with his own class or sphere; when
one does sometimes make friends with such people, they want your
friendship so you will admire their possessions, their nice homes or
their economic achievements. You might expect in return some
succor in time of distress—which you may receive in a small way, not
out of friendly feeling but from pity. Only cultured people can
understand each other and feel for one another without expecting to
receive admiration and be considered magnanimous. I have one or
two friends, not my own children—there cannot be better friends
than your own children. We got acquainted a few years ago; they like
me because they are of the same condition and age that I am, but we
live far apart from one another, and do not meet often.
Being alone and lonesome, the only escape from melancholy and
desperation is to turn to man’s best friend, the book, in which solace
and companionship can surely be found. A so-called friend
telephoned me last night that he would call on me today about ten
o’clock, as a sign of friendship and interest. Well, I waited until one
o’clock for him, postponing several things I had to do for myself
before noon, and he did not show up. He either forgot what he said
yesterday, or he passed it up as not important. His presence would
not have had any importance for me, either, but waiting made me
melancholy and overcome with languor.
193