Page 208 - The Legacy of Abraham Rothstein - text

Old age and the future

collecting Zionist funds. I never visited any of those associates in
their homes and neither did they come to mine.
This situation made my wife unhappy at some times. Not having
any relatives in a big city, one seeks to be sociable and make
friends—and she was very sociable, with a pleasant smile and
conversation. To my regret, the fault was mine. I was never sociable
enough with a man to call him by his first name. But Fannie made
friends in the neighborhood and had women to lunch in the house or
visited their homes. She was very popular among her friends, and had
to go to their entertainments—for which she had to use the car, to
travel to the fine homes in the Wilshire district. That car, the old
Moon, was not reliable, yet she traveled far and wide in it. But she
would not go out at nights without an escort, and I worked
sometimes until ten o’clock at night when I went out to the farm.
Beside not having time, I could not carry on a conversation with the
women, which embarrassed her and her friends.
I regret all the bad feelings that this caused, yet it was my nature to
suspect the utilitarian interests of others. And cards were my
downfall: had I learned to play cards and kept up at it, my wife would
have been much happier, and so would I. Mama could play cards,
and especially when the children grew up and got married and she
was home alone with few neighbors around, it was natural for her to
seek her women friends and play some afternoons. When the town
spread out, people moved tens of miles away from our house, and it
was hard for her to travel by bus or the old car to the other side of
the city. In the long winter evenings she complained about sitting and
reading and reading. She wanted me to play cards to pass the time,
but I never liked cards, as it looked to me like a waste of time. I did
not realize that I had company all day at work while she was home
alone. If I suffer from loneliness today, it is a punishment for causing
her those lonely evenings.
Now that I am lonesome, sitting day in and day out with nobody
to talk to, it comes to mind that she had admonished me, “Abe: you
keep away from people, you do not go out and make friends. You are
getting old and when you are left alone you will suffer, you will not
have a friend when you need one.” Fannie was sensible, had good
judgement, and was sympathetic. I wish I had the common sense she
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