Page 80 - Effable Encounters

The Formic Solution

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Ann aligned the pastry on a cracked china plate and carried it out
of the kitchen in one hand, her notebook and a day-old croissant in
the other.
“Look at this!” Phibian Gill was already excited, even before his
first infusion of dextrose and saturated fat. “They’ve built tunnels and
chambers, sorted themselves into different work-groups. Just like the
army: nobody complains, nobody explains. All communication by
means of pheromones and direct antenna-sensing. Amazing, don’t
you think?”
“Yeah, sure, Boss. Whatever you say.”
He greedily gobbled eclairs while she flipped through her notes.
She didn’t like ants; she didn’t like her employer. It made sense to her
that they’d love each other. Early in her life a sadistic sibling, after
viewing a video of an old Fifties jungle movie, had buried her up to
her chin in the back yard of their suburban home. Ever since that
trauma she had suffered from episodes of formication, often at night
in bed.
Gill waved at her to begin her report. She noticed with distaste an
eyedropper and a small glass of red liquid next to the ant farm:
feeding time at the zoo. Could it be that h was sharing even the
smallest amount of his precious cherry cola with them?
“All right. I talked to the neighbors, most of whom have lost the
use of their eyes and ears. None of them noticed anything odd, or
anything not odd, in the comings and goings of the subject. One
geezer recalled a dull, bumping, bouncing sound, more felt than
heard, on that Saturday morning, as if a barely-controlled wheeled
suitcase were descending the stairs. Slim pickings there.”
“Maybe,” mumbled Gill, wiping custard from the corners of his
mouth. “Minnie didn’t mention any luggage left behind. What else?”
“I interviewed people at the hospital, the veterans’ center, and the
shelter. Quite a few of them knew her by sight, if not by name. Her
appearances at those places that week didn’t seem extraordinary to
anyone. She came, she did her good works, she socialized with her
peers, she left. Probably went straight home after such exhausting
labors—except on Friday, when she made a beeline to the Bank of
Edelweiss before it closed and cleaned out her account.”

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