Page 155 - The Perpetrations of Captain Kaga

Breaking the Grapefruit Connection
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“Mm, no, this is a background radiation hypertriangulator. I
couldn’t keep too many things in my consciousness all at once. You
remember I wanted to test a cosmological hypothesis?”
“Oh. What’s that?” Lugo gazed unhappily at the long metallic
cylinder in Kaga’s hands.
“This gadget could establish whether or not the Big Bang theory of
the origin of the universe is correct. If it is, then we must still be
within the light wave boundaries established at that singular moment
of creation. If it is not, then we could be outside that circumference.
All I have to do is go outside and take a reading, and the whole
argument could be settled once and for all.”
“But Captain Kaga: we can’t do that!”
“Why not?”
“Because we’re locked up in here. I’m a prisoner.”
“Oh.”
The two old men shifted around on the floor until they could get
their backs against the wall.
“Too bad there wasn’t another bench in here,” said Kaka. “It
doesn’t matter,” replied Lugo. “The floor isn’t any harder.”
“So, tell me: how did you get into this mess?”
“Well, let me go back to the beginning, to my life in the monastery.
You remember our meeting after we retired from active duty in the
PKU? We had an argument about mind-body reprogramming, and I
left you determined to achieve enlightenment—but not simply what
you called a short circuit! I thought I could develop a method of
resolving the subject-object paradox inherent in experiences of
cosmic consciousness. Now I realize it was impossibility, just another
futile attempt to look at oneself looking at oneself.”
“You’ll have to tell me about that some other time,” said Captain
Kaga drily.
“Right. Anyway, once in the monastery I kept to my small chamber
during most of the morning hours, practicing my method with the
utmost concentration. In the afternoon I usually went out into the
orchard and worked with the other monks pruning the grapefruit
trees. They did not speak to me at all; I assumed they had taken vows
of silence. During the short time I was in the monastery I saw quite a
turnover in the brethren. That did not strike me as odd, since the
spiritual path is always strewn with stalled vehicles.”
“And you were moving right along, I suppose.”
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