Page 100 - Just Deserts

Stiff Competition

will buy copies for their friends rather than give them one they’ve
already scratched open—so sales will increase. Not to mention the
fact that you will be the only publisher with such a commodity on the
market: you can promote it a dozen different ways.”
He stopped to gauge the effect of his words. Tina was staring at
the hidden lines, time limit forgotten. Sonny plunged onward. “I’ve
had a great idea for it, myself,” he crowed. “Why not combine the
book with a real lottery? Just add another little patch of silver coating
below the last paragraph, and once in every few thousand copies
print beneath it a prize amount, say one thousand dollars. Whoever
gets a book with that designation will win that amount, with all the
attendant fanfare of a state lottery jackpot. It would push the sales up
immensely. Why, the sky’s the limit, Ms. Crumpet: it could even
exceed the million-and-a-half copies of Steele Galant’s last opus, ‘She
Shtups to Conquer.’”
Tina Crumpet looked up from the mesmerizing patch of silver.
“As I said, Mr. Lemmatina, your author—pseudonym and all—is not
a known quantity in the United States. I don’t know what we could
offer him on a gamble such as this. Why don’t you leave this with me
for a couple of days and we’ll get back to you. Where are you staying
in New York?”
“Uh, I’m temporarily at the Wormwood Hotel.” He saw her face
register nonrecognition. “It’s a small place on lower Broadway, just
reconditioned from an old fish packing plant. I guess not too many
people know about it yet, because I got a great deal on a room there.
Boy, this sure is a great city, isn’t it? You can walk around all day and
never get bored.”
She swept the manuscript of ‘Stiff Competition’ into a drawer of
her desk. “Tell you what, Mr. Lemmatina. I’d hate for you to run up a
big hotel bill waiting around for something to happen, so I’ll try to
get your book to a reader as soon as possible. And you just sit tight
there in your room. Don’t be wandering around in the streets too
much: a lot of people in this town are all too ready to take advantage
of a stranger.”
“Oh.” His features formed a mask of innocence. “Well, thanks for
the advice, Ms. Crumpet, and I hope to hear from you soon.”
Tina was on the phone to her boss the instant he left.
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