Page 15 - Ashgate Hospicecare News 2018

Chapel as I’d never been before. I knew Geoff was dying but I really needed a little break. I went into the Chapel and saw the little prayer box there with some note paper. I wrote
a prayer asking for God to take Geoff now, he was very tired and I didn’t want him to suffer any longer. The moment I put the prayer into the box, I heard footsteps running down the corridor and I instinctively knew it was Laura, Dom’s girlfriend. She told me to come quick and when I got there, the doctor told us Geoff had minutes left.
We were all there when Geoff died. The Hospice were fantastic, they
shut the blinds on the door, ade sure nobody disturbed us and we stayed for hours. It was incredible because within just ten minutes of Geoff dying, you could see all the pain that he’d been carrying just lift and he looked like my Geoff again. He looked ten
years younger! He had a very peaceful death and we’ll always be grateful
for that. We were all given the space to cry and laugh as well, which was important. My son Dom was able to give his dad a shave after he died􏰀 something he’d promised to do when Geoff was in hospital but never could because he was too ill. He did it very
carefully as he wanted Geoff to look perfect.
I can’t praise Ashgate enough for
the care they gave Geoff and our whole family. I feel like we were very lucky because we’ve met many MSA sufferers and their carers from all over the country since Geoff’s diagnosis and we know that not all of them have had the kind of support we’ve had. With the help of the Hospice, Geoff almost got his wish to die at home, and in the end he died in the next best place.
I started seeing a bereavement counsellor about a month before Geoff died to help me cope with what was happening. I only left it about
a month or six weeks after he died before getting back in touch with my counsellor and after that I saw her for a year. She helped me so much.
She really understood grief and she taught me a lot about it which has really helped me. She understood that the grief will always be there and I’ll just build the rest of my life around
it. Nobody has ever told me I need to get over it, which I think is really important.
I also attended a bereavement group which was really helpful. There were people there of all different ages and we’d all gone through similar things but we were all different ages. I got so much out of those sessions and they really helped me to put things into perspective. Ashgate even rang my sons and asked if they wanted counselling. We didn’t expect that at all. Although they declined, I thought it was amazing that the Hospice was thinking of them.
Pamela’s Story
Pamela, from Chesterfield, talks about her experiences of Ashgate Hospicecare􏰀 about the care her husband received, her visits from Pam from the Hospice at Home team, and her time at the Day Hospice.
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I’ve lived with emphysema for over 25 years now. Emphysema is a life-limiting illness and it means that I’m often breathless and find it particularly hard to get up and move around, so most of my days are spent at home either in bed or in the living room.
Whether you’re recently bereaved, enduring the burden of a terminal illness, or that of a loved one, the mental anguish can be almost as exhausting as the actual physical pain. After I experienced cancer take away the life of my dear husband, Eric, who died at the Hospice, and then needing to use the services myself, I can honestly say that Ashgate Hospicecare proved a lifeline and a blessing to both my husband and myself.
I now have visits from Pam from the Hospice at Home team. I always look forward eagerly to her visits; we always have a good chat and a giggle and I always feel happier and uplifted afterwards. She’s a lovely lady, very approachable and has a good rapport with my carers, especially with Beth, my main carer, which is really important to me. Pam asks me how I am and if there is anything I need to help me on a day to day basis. The last time Pam came over, she looked into getting a ramp for me so that I can get out and about more easily. She’s keen to do anything that can help improve my quality of life. Her visits are invaluable to me and I know I can ask her anything. I have a feeling of security, knowing that she’s always there to support me.
As well as having Hospice at Home visits, I’ve also attended the Day Hospice. Initially, I was reluctant to go back to the Hospice, having said my last goodbyes to my husband there. I was afraid to put on a brave face and relive the painful memories of that sad time. However, I can honestly say that no one could have enjoyed a better welcome or be shown more kindness. The staff and volunteers were so friendly and helpful and nothing was too much trouble.
I was amazed to find that I could have treatments such as massages and manicures, and
do activities, such as arts and crafts, quizzes and games. I also enjoyed visiting the Chapel each week for their morning service. I also have very fond memories of being taken around the garden one lovely sunny afternoon by a kind volunteer who helped me to locate the tribute to my late husband.
Lastly, but by no means least, I must mention those Ashgate lunches: three divine courses, all home-made and beautifully cooked. I thought the staff were teasing me when they offered me a prawn cocktail starter! Not a bit of it! From thereon in, I continued to enjoy first class food each time I came to the Day Hospice.
I truly believe that no matter how large or small, every donation to Ashgate Hospicecare is not only money well spent but so richly deserved. Any money raised will help to continue those much- needed services, such as the Day Hospice and Hospice at Home, both of which have made a huge difference to my life.
I would also like to congratulate Ashgate Hospicecare on reaching 30 years of caring and send my best wishes for it to long continue to provide the nursing, equipment, support and care needed for the next 30 years and beyond.
Pamela, patient and supporter of Ashgate Hospicecare