Page 4 - Ashgate Hospicecare News 2018

Cheryl’s Story
“My wonderful mum, Joyce, was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2013 at the age of 76. My dear mum, who was always full of life, fun and laughter, was given only two years to live, but she fought on for four years.
She initially had chemotherapy
and surgery to remove her womb. However, unfortunately, after three months, another scan revealed
that the cancer had reoccurred.
She didn’t lose her hair with
the chemotherapy, which she
was eternally grateful for, as she was always very proud of her appearance and well known for being a glamorous lady. However, after her first round of treatment she decided that she didn’t want to go through it again. She just wanted to try and live life as normally as possible.
In her final year, we started to notice that she was slowing down. She hated it. My dad, who was her carer from day one, never left her side. He was fantastic. He took her on a cruise and he also took her
to Paris. She was embarrassed by her condition but they both coped with it very well. I work as a nurse full-time but whenever I had the time, I would pop in to see how they were. Even when I came over, my dad would not want to leave her side. He’d occasionally go out to the little shop round the corner, but he wouldn’t go and spend the day playing golf, as he liked to do. He wanted to be with her all the time
because she was his life and he was hers. They nearly made it to their
Cheryl with her mum, Joyce
60th wedding anniversary, which they would be celebrating in 2018, but she died in the summer of 2017.
Ashgate Hospicecare got involved within the last six months of
her life, when she really started
to deteriorate. We had support workers and nurses coming in every week to see my mum and to give my dad a much needed break from caring for her. They were always very friendly and my mum loved having them round. The Hospice also provided her with a special bed at home and gave her drinks to build up her strength.
However, at 11pm one night, I had a call from dad and I could tell from his voice that he was really upset, so I quickly went to see them. When
I got to their house, mum looked awful and I knew something wasn’t right. I called 111 and explained
the situation. I’ve worked for the 111 service, but I didn’t realise how distressing it was to be on the other end of the phone with a very sick relative. You have to explain the situation to the first person, then you get put through to another person and you have to explain the situation again. They said we would have to wait around two hours for
a district nurse to arrive, so me and my dad sat with my mum and did what we could to try and calm her.
After the district nurses left, mum settled down and fell asleep and we all sat with her until the morning. When she woke up around 6am, she was very agitated again as the drugs had worn off. I really didn’t know what to do as the doctor’s surgery wasn’t open yet and they only
did home visits in the afternoon. We couldn’t wait that long. When it got to 9am, I rang the Hospice and, fortunately, a consultant was able to come and see us straight away. I was so relieved to see this consultant again as she was the same lady who had been to the house before. I told her about our night and how we had
really struggled.
It was clear that mum needed to go into the Hospice as there was
no service that could support us at home 24/7. When we went into her room to see her, she was lying in bed looking very peaceful with thanks to
the nurses on the ward who gave her the medication she needed. She was like that for four days. I slept
in the Hospice by my mum’s side every night. Just before she died, we called the family who all came and sat with her. She died peacefully
a few hours later and we were allowed lots of time to sit with her.
Mum’s wish was to die at home and the Hospice did all they could to respect her wishes and try to make this possible. Unfortunately, this was not possible in the end, but we know that mum died in the next best place and received excellent care until the very end.
If the Hospice could have provided round the clock support at home for both my mum and my family, my mum could have died at home, where she wanted to be. The specialist care provided by Ashgate is vital for so many people in our community and we must do what we can to ensure that everybody who needs hospice care at home can get it, no matter what time of day or night.”
Joyce and her husband, Bob
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“I slept in the Hospice by my mum’s side every night”