Page 139 - Reason To Sing by Kelita Haverland

Chapter Twenty-Three

my body. I’m trying to remain calm and, weirdly, trying to be as
polite as possible. I push gently on his chest. “If you don’t get
off me, I’m going to scream as loud as I can!”
I know there are people living upstairs. I just pray they’re
at home. I push harder against him. “I mean it. I will scream as
loud as I can if you don’t get off me. Right now!”
Reluctantly he takes his hands off my pantyhose and backs
off. He says nothing. Not a word.
He climbs off of me and the bed. I know this animal is not
pleased. His plans to initiate me into womanhood have been
thwarted. It’s obvious he needs to cool down. He stomps out of
the bedroom, leaving me to lie there in the dark.
I am sobering up fast. I pull off my pantyhose and toss
them into a corner. I smooth down my skirt as my pounding
heart finally begins to slow. I am relieved but also mortified and
embarrassed. All I want to do is get out of here and be back
home in my cozy pink princess bedroom listening to Karen
Carpenter on the radio.
I straighten my hair as I walk into the living room. Not-so-
Dreamy is sulking on the sofa, drink in hand. He won’t even
look at me. This party is over!
Together we face the cold January night yet again. At least
he understands that he has to drive me home. We say absolutely
nothing the entire trip. Everything feels awkward and fuzzy.
His eyes are forward as I stare out the frosty window, silently
mulling the entire crazy evening. This date did not exactly
turn out to be the romantic 18th birthday extravaganza I had
envisioned in my dreams. I am sad and humiliated. My young
girl’s dreamy crush has truly crushed me.
Finally safe and sound in my pretty pink bed, I cry myself
to sleep. Did I bring this on myself? Did I ask for it? Did I lead
this man down some garden path, only to deny him that which

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