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FACE TO FACE | EASTERN HORIZON 43

manageable, we want to simply injustice, etc. The absolute aspect of for living beings. Both absolute and
shine the light of awareness on our reality is that every last being, thing, relative apply equally.
experience. As soon as we do this and phenomenon is empty of any
– as soon as we shift from dwelling inherent, independent, enduring What would be your advice to
on the subject or object of our fear, self-nature. Any discrimination as to someone who has just lost a loved
for example, and notice, “Ah, fear self and other, good and bad, up and one to this pandemic?
has arisen in me” – we are already down, just and unjust, is ultimately
somewhat free of being tyrannized a categorization applied by our First and foremost, I wouldn’t give
by the negative mind state. This is mind. After all, if you look closely such a person Buddhist advice,
what is done in classic Buddhist enough, you can’t find the boundary I would give them advice based
mindfulness practice, and it’s also between you and me because the in modern psychology, which
what we do in zazen. atoms of which we are composed has added a great deal to our
are mostly made up of space! understanding of the emotional
Then we need to refrain from trying experience of individuals: Don’t
to immediately get “rid” of the Absolute and relative are let anyone tell you how you should
negative feelings or experiences, simultaneously true and do not grieve, or how long it should take.
because that almost never works. contradict each other all, even Everyone’s experience is different,
Patiently, we become more and though they may seem to. Just as and none of us can predict how we
more familiar with our experience. my finger is a separate entity at ourselves are going to react to a
It’s almost like making friends with the same time it is only one part a given situation of loss. Be patient
our fear, anxiety, or worry. With hand, the concepts of absolute and and gentle with yourself.
gentleness and goodwill, we learn relative describe reality viewed at
gradually what is going and what different levels. If someone wanted to hear
is needed, like a parent holding a something more, and they wanted
crying baby. So, meditation is rarely Why does this teaching matter? to know specifically how to relate
an instant cure for our troubling Relatively speaking, we care deeply their loss and grief to Zen, I would
emotions, but if you’re willing to about ourselves and our children, encourage them to see the pain
engage the practice over time you and out of compassion and goodwill of their loss as a simultaneous
may find more lasting relief from wish for safety, comfort, and manifestation of interdependence
them. happiness. This is natural and not and no-self. Instead of being truly
a problem… until, of course, we get separate individuals with some kind
This pandemic has humbled us so caught up in our self-centered of inherent, independent, enduring
and reminded us how we cannot concerns that we lose perspective self-essence, we are dependently
guarantee our own future. Yet, we and come under the influence of co-arisen with all beings and things
instinctively yearn for a way to greed, hate, and delusion. Becoming and phenomena. Your loved one
assure and secure that future for more familiar with the absolute was part of yourself, whether your
ourselves and for our children. aspect of reality is a medicine for relationship with them was joyful
Can Zen Buddhism show us this ill. Even as we put forth our or difficult. You were shaped in
where should we turn for safety? best efforts to take care of our loved part by their presence, and you are
ones and make our world a better forever changed by their loss. But
Zen, like many Mahāyāna traditions, place, we can ground ourselves also, they live on through you, in a
emphasizes that reality has two in gratitude. If you relinquish very real way. The emptiness of self
aspects, absolute and relative. The all of your discriminations and ends up being not an abstract and
relative aspect of reality sees us expectations about the world and philosophical proclamation but an
going about our individual lives, simply engage with it directly, it’s a intensely personal, disorienting, but
encountering pain versus pleasure, mind-boggling miracle we’re alive ultimately liberating experience. EH
success versus failure, justice versus at all. And at the same time, we care

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