Page 132 - Keys To Community College Success

questions—how to talk, how to behave, how to proceed. For example, after complet-
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ing several papers for a course, you may learn what your instructor expects, or, after a
few arguments with a friend or partner, you may learn how to manage “hot button”
topics more effectively. See Key 4.8 for one example of how this can happen, shown in
terms of “if–then” statements.
Emotional intelligence gives you steps you can take to promote success. For exam-
ple, when Joe was told he wasn’t college material, he was angry about it. With effort,
his response involved these practical and emotionally intelligent actions:
■ Perceiving emotions: After he heard the comment, recognizing his feelings of being
hurt and insulted
■ Thinking about emotions: Noting what perception arose from those feelings (at
4 first, “I’m not good enough”) and how it affected his mindset (at first, made him
CHAPTER ■ Understanding emotions: Determining that the emotions told him he was of little
feel badly about himself)

value, and considering how to adjust that mindset to increase self-worth and
determination
■ Managing emotions: Using what he learned, making a decision to prove the
recruiter wrong and supporting that goal with actions such as applying to
colleges

KEY 4.8 One way to map out what you learn from experience.

Goal: You want to talk to the soccer coach about your status on the team.

+ + =

IF the team has had a good practice and IF you’ve played well during the scrimmage and IF the coach isn’t rushing off somewhere,
THEN grab a moment with him right after practice ends.

+ + =

IF the team is having a tough time and IF you’ve been sidelined and IF the coach is in a rush and stressed,
THEN drop in during his office hours tomorrow.

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