Page 13 - Sound Rides May 2022

JIMS JOKES Father talks to his

5-year-old son: “No,
Peter, you don’t have
to worry. There is no
monster sleeping
under your bed.
It sleeps in the bed
next to me.”

Husband
approaches his
wife, “Jenny, I
think I have a
problem.”
Jenny smiles at
him kindly,
“Darling, your
problems are my
An 80 year old man went to the doctor for a problem also.
check-up and the doctor was amazed at what good Trouble shared is trouble halved. Tell me.”
shape the guy was in. The doctor asked, "To what “OK, “ says the husband, “in that case, we got the
do you attribute your good health?" neighbor pregnant.”
The old timer said, "I'm a dirt biker and that's why
I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight
on Sundays and out sliding around corners, I saw my wife at the
"shootin" sand washes and riding up and down the dam yesterday.
steepest, gnarliest hills I can find at the crack of Drat. I was hoping
dawn." she might float a bit
The doctor said, "Well, I'm sure that helps, but more downstream.
there's got to be more to it. How old was your dad
when he died?" The old timer said, "Who said my
dad's dead?"
The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old A nurse says to a new
and your dad's still alive? How old is he?" father, “Your baby is
The old timer said, "He's 99 years old and, in fact, very pretty.”
he went riding with me this Sunday, and that's why The father looks
he's still alive... he's a dirt biker." pleased, “Really?
The doctor said, "Well, that's great, but I'm sure Come on, don’t you
there's more to it. How about your dad's dad? How say this to
old was he when he died?" everybody?”
The old timer said, "Who said my grandpa's dead?" The nurse shakes her head, “No, of course not.”
The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old The father wonders, “So what do you say if the
and your grandfather's still living! How old is he?" baby’s ugly?”
The old timer said, "He's 117 years old." The nurse smiles, “Then I say the baby really takes
The doctor was getting frustrated at this point and after its father.”
said, "I guess he went dirt bikin' with you this
Sunday too?" Doctor: “Do you do
The old timer said, "No... Grandpa couldn't go this sports?”
week because he got married." Patient: “Does sex
The Doctor said in count?”
amazement, "Got Doctor: “Yes.”
married!! Good Lord!!! Patient: “Then no.”
Why would a 117-year-
old guy want to get
married?"
The old timer said,
"Who said he wanted It really makes me mad when
to?" I hear idiots saying that
women belong in the kitchen.
Such crap. Who would clean
the rest of the house?!

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