Page 14 - Sound Rides Mar 2023

An older couple, who were both widowed, had
JIMS JOKES
Three travellers, an American, a Russian, and an
Egyptian, were circumnavigating the globe in a hot
air balloon. The Russian man put his hand out and
reached down into the clouds.
“Aaah!” he said. “We're right over my homeland.”
“How can you tell?” asked the American.
“I can feel the cold air.” he replied.
A few days later the African man put his hand
through the clouds.
“Aah we're right over my homeland.” he said.
“How do you know that?” asked the Russian.
“I can feel the heat of the desert.”
Several more days later the American put his hand
through the clouds.
“Aah, we're right over New York.” The Russian and
the African were amazed.
“How do you know all of that?!” they exclaimed.
The American pulled his hand in and held it up for
them to see. “My watch is missing.”
been going out with each other for a long time.
Urged on by their friends, they decided it was
finally time to get married. Before the wedding,
they went out to dinner and had a long
conversation regarding how their marriage might
work. They discussed finances, living arrange-
ments, and so on. Finally, the old gentleman
decided it was time to broach the subject of their
physical relationship. "How do you feel about sex?"
he asked, rather tentatively. "I would like it
infrequently ", she replied. The old gentleman sat
quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, then
leaned over towards her and whispered, "Is that
one word or two?"
A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a
rifle. "It`s for my husband," she tells the clerk.
"Did he tell you what gauge to get?" asked the
clerk. "Are you kidding?" she says. "He doesn`t
even know that I`m going to shoot him!"
Bob, age 92, and Mary, age 89, are all excited
about their decision to get married. While out for a
stroll to discuss the wedding they pass a drug-
store. Bob suggests they go in.
Bob asks to speak to the pharmacist. He explains
they're about to get married, and asks,
"Do you sell heart medication?"
"Of course we do," the pharmacist replies.
"Medicine for rheumatism?" "Definitely," he says.
"How about Viagra?" "Of course."
"Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaun-
dice?"
"Yes, the works."
"What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, ant-
acids?"
"Absolutely." "Do you sell wheelchairs and walk-
ers?"
"All speeds and sizes."
"Good," Bob says to the pharmacist. "We'd like to
register for our wedding gifts here, please."
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