Page 13 - Sound Rides Mar 2023

Hospital regulations require
a wheel chair for patients

JIMS JOKES being discharged. However,

while working as a student
nurse, I found one elderly
gentleman already dressed
and sitting on the bed with
a suitcase at his feet, who
insisted he didn't need my
help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules
being rules, he reluctantly
let me wheel him to the
elevator.
On the way down I asked
him if his wife was meeting
him. 'I don't know,' he said.
'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of
her hospital gown.'

The Dress My wife and I like to play this little game where we
both see something that needs to be put away, but
A mother stopped by unannounced, at her son's we leave it out to see how long it takes the other
house. She knocked on the door and then one to do it. She doesn't seem to enjoy it as much
immediately walked in. as I do.
She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying
on the couch, totally naked.
Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume
filled the room.
"What are you doing?!" she asked.
I'm waiting for Brian to come home from work,"
the daughter-in-law answered.
“But you're naked" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in- law
explained.
"Love dress? But you're naked!"
"Brian loves me and wants me to wear this dress,"
she explained. "It excites him to no end. Every
time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes
romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He The General Managers of Cascade Brewery
can't get enough of me." (Tasmania), Tooheys (New South Wales), XXXX
The mother-in-law left. (Queensland), CUB (Victoria) and Coopers (South
When she got home, she undressed, showered, put Australia) were at a national beer conference.
on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a They decide to all go to lunch together and the
romantic CD, and laid on the couch, waiting for her waitress asks what they want to drink.
husband to arrive. The General Manager of Tooheys says without
Finally, her husband came home from the Golf hesitation, "I'll have a Tooheys New."
club. He walked in and saw her laying there so The General Manager of Cascade smiles and says,
provocatively. "I'll have a Cascade Draught, brewed from pure
"What are you doing?" he asked. mountain water."
"This is my love dress." she whispered sensually. The General Manager of Coopers proudly says, "I'll
"Needs ironing," he said "What's for dinner ? have a Coopers, the King of Beers."
The bloke from XXXX says, "I'll have a XXXX, the
cleanest beer on the planet."
The General Manager from Carlton glances at his
lunch mates and says, "I'll have a Diet Coke."
The others look at him like he has sprouted a new
head.
He just shrugs
and says,
"Well if you
poofters aren't
drinking beer,
then neither
will I."

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