Page 13 - Sound Rides Sept 2022

I just read in the news that tons of Americans are
sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa.

JIMS JOKES Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've

never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.

An old actor has trouble getting work due to failing
Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, memory...
Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000. After contacting many people that he worked with
His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he in the past , he is finally able to land a job in a
got the job in the first place. popular new Broadway play. The director tells him
It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so its only one line at the beginning of the play, but it
he would never have to testify in court. is a very important line. It sets the mood for the
When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about rest of the play. It is ESSENTIAL he nails the line.
his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer The old actor emphasizes that he will nail it. The
who knows sign language. director reluctantly agrees and proceeds to tell him
The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where's his role. You will take a beautiful rose, bring it to
the money? your nose and take a deep breath and say the
The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido following line: *Ah, the sweet scent of my
where's the money? mistress…* That's it. Do not screw this up! The old
Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are actor thanks him 10 times over and proceeds to
talking about.” practice for the next 2 weeks nonstop.
The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't Opening night comes. It's a sold out theatre. He
know what you're talking about." takes to the stage, spotlight on him. He raises his
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's hand, takes a deep breath and says the line
temple and says, “Ask him again!" perfectly * Ah, the sweet scent of my mistress… *
The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you Just after the line is delivered the auditorium burst
don't tell him.” into laughter. He walks off the stage distraught. I
Guido signs back, "OK.!!!! You win! The money is don't get it. I nailed the line perfectly. What
in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my happened? The director looks at him and yells YOU
cousin Bruno's house." IDIOT! YOU FORGOT THE FLOWER!
The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?”
The lawyer replies, " He says you don't have the
balls to pull the trigger."
Don't you just love lawyers.

I am quite old, so I wasn't shocked today during a
thorough inspection to find that I had a grey pubic
hair. The other people on the elevator seemed
pretty surprised, though.

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