Page 14 - Sound Rides Sept 2022

JIMS JOKES I took my 19 year old girlfriend

to dinner and people called me

a paedophile… completely
ruined our 10th anniversary.

A 100 year old
Japanese man is
being interviewed for
a newspaper piece
about extreme old

age and the reporter asks "do you think there's
any merit to the stereotype that people from this
Sunday Morning Sex
village live a lot longer than others?"
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just The old man thinks for a second and says "you
passed away, Katie went straight to her know, I'm not sure. Let me go ask my dad". And
grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old the reporter, stunned, stammers "y-your dad?
grandmother and comfort her. Where is he right now??" and the old man says "I
When she asked how her grandfather had died, think he's out fishing with my grandpa".
her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack
while we were making love on Sunday morning."
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people My wife gave me a
nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be bag of our children's
asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied old clothes. And
granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced asked me donate
age, we figured out the best time to do it was them to kids that
when the church bells would start to ring. It was don't have any.
just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. So I went around
Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and town asking people
out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, where I can find kids
and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream without any clothes
truck hadn't come along." and for some reason I
ended up arrested…

I was in a long McDonald's drive-through this
morning and the young lady behind me leaned on
her horn because I was taking too long to place
my order. Take the high road, I thought to myself.
So when I got to the first window I paid for her
order along with my own.
The cashier must have told her what I'd done
because as we moved up she leaned out her
window and waved to me and mouthed "Thank
you.", obviously embarrassed that I had repaid her
rudeness with kindness.
When I got to the second window I showed them
both receipts and took her food too.
Now she has to
People are waiting in a long go back to the
line like to buy vodka. Finally end of the line
one alcoholic snaps and to start all
screams - 'I can't take it, I'll over. Don't
go kill Putin!' And leaves the honk your horn
store. 10 minutes later he at old people.
come back and says. 'The line
to kill Putin is even longer.'

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