Page 17 - Sound Rides February 2024
P. 17

A husband died. A few weeks later the wife died.
                                                             As she got to heaven she saw her husband. She

           JIMS JOKES                                        ran up to him with tears in her eyes.




                                                             'Darling, how I've missed you!'
                                                             The husband extends his arms stopping her from
                                                             embracing him and says, 'Whoa there woman, the
                                                             contract was until death!'







                                                             Junior had just received his brand new drivers
                                                             license. To celebrate, the whole family trooped out
                                                             to the driveway and climbed into the car for his
                                                             inaugural drive. Dad immediately headed to the
                                                             back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver.
                                                             "I'll bet you're back there to get a change of
                                                             scenery after all those months of sitting in the
                                                             front passenger seat teaching me how to drive,"
                                                             said the beaming boy to his ol' man.
                                                             "Nope," came dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit here and
         A wife asks her                                     kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like
       husband: "What do                                     you've been doing to me for sixteen years."
      you like most in me,
      my pretty face or my
           sexy body?"
      He looks at her from
         head to toe and
       replied: “I like your
        sense of humor!”




      Year after year Bubba's wife pleaded with him to
      take her fishing but he kept telling her she would
      not enjoy it. She, finally, wore him down, he
      consented, and early one morning they took off to      Once upon a time NASA decided to send three
      the lake.                                              astronauts to space for 2 years. NASA allowed
      They had not been there very long when the fish        each of them to take 200 kilograms of baggage
      began biting. Almost as fast as they cast, a fish      each. The first astronaut decided to take along his
      would bite, and they reeled it in. After catching      wife, the second decided to take along books to
      their limit, Bubba said, "Verna Lou, sweet thang,      learn how to speak German, while the third
      I'm sorry. You've been good luck and I'm gonna         astronaut decided to take along cigarettes. Two
      bring you with me the next time. If you'll mark the    years later, when the space shuttle landed, there
      spot where we caught all these fish, we'll go          was a big crowd waiting to welcome them home.
      home." On the way home, Bubba turned to Verna          First came the first astronaut and his wife and
      Lou and said, "Sweet thang, how did you mark the       each of them had a baby in their arms.
                               spot were all the fish are    Next, out came the second astronaut speaking
                               so next time I'll know?"      fluent German. They both gave their speeches and
                               "Bubba, darlin', I put a big   got a rousing applause. Suddenly out came the
                               'X' on the side of the boat                                      third astronaut
                               right down closest to the                                        with a cigarette in
                               water."                                                          his mouth.
                               "Sweet thang, that's about                                       He walked up to
                               the dumbest thing I ever                                         the podium and
                               seen you do. Don't you                                           snarled to the
                               know that won't work? We                                         crowd and asked,
                               may not get the same boat                                        'Has anyone got a
                               the next time!"                                                  friggin' match?'



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