Page 17 - Sound Rides February 2024

A husband died. A few weeks later the wife died.
As she got to heaven she saw her husband. She

JIMS JOKES ran up to him with tears in her eyes.

'Darling, how I've missed you!'
The husband extends his arms stopping her from
embracing him and says, 'Whoa there woman, the
contract was until death!'

Junior had just received his brand new drivers
license. To celebrate, the whole family trooped out
to the driveway and climbed into the car for his
inaugural drive. Dad immediately headed to the
back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver.
"I'll bet you're back there to get a change of
scenery after all those months of sitting in the
front passenger seat teaching me how to drive,"
said the beaming boy to his ol' man.
"Nope," came dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit here and
A wife asks her kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like
husband: "What do you've been doing to me for sixteen years."
you like most in me,
my pretty face or my
sexy body?"
He looks at her from
head to toe and
replied: “I like your
sense of humor!”

Year after year Bubba's wife pleaded with him to
take her fishing but he kept telling her she would
not enjoy it. She, finally, wore him down, he
consented, and early one morning they took off to Once upon a time NASA decided to send three
the lake. astronauts to space for 2 years. NASA allowed
They had not been there very long when the fish each of them to take 200 kilograms of baggage
began biting. Almost as fast as they cast, a fish each. The first astronaut decided to take along his
would bite, and they reeled it in. After catching wife, the second decided to take along books to
their limit, Bubba said, "Verna Lou, sweet thang, learn how to speak German, while the third
I'm sorry. You've been good luck and I'm gonna astronaut decided to take along cigarettes. Two
bring you with me the next time. If you'll mark the years later, when the space shuttle landed, there
spot where we caught all these fish, we'll go was a big crowd waiting to welcome them home.
home." On the way home, Bubba turned to Verna First came the first astronaut and his wife and
Lou and said, "Sweet thang, how did you mark the each of them had a baby in their arms.
spot were all the fish are Next, out came the second astronaut speaking
so next time I'll know?" fluent German. They both gave their speeches and
"Bubba, darlin', I put a big got a rousing applause. Suddenly out came the
'X' on the side of the boat third astronaut
right down closest to the with a cigarette in
water." his mouth.
"Sweet thang, that's about He walked up to
the dumbest thing I ever the podium and
seen you do. Don't you snarled to the
know that won't work? We crowd and asked,
may not get the same boat 'Has anyone got a
the next time!" friggin' match?'

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