Page 32 - JULY 2016 Newsletter

Laughing Matters
Fourth Annual Search for Chicago’s Funniest Cop authors an All-Star Comedy Cops Jam that showcases ‘Chicago Police humor’
n PHOTOS BY JAMES PINTO
To be a Chicago Police Officer in 2016, you have to be able to laugh. What better way to ride out some of the spit you have to deal with every day?
Judging by the Fourth Annual Search for Chicago’s Funniest Cop event held at the Laugh Factory on June 20, there’s a lot of things for Chicago cops to laugh, hoot, guffaw, snicker, cackle and lose their spit about. As Tom McKenna, one of the eight active or retired cops to take the stage, noted, “There is humor, there is police humor and there is Chicago police humor.”
You know this night, which benefitted the 100 Club of Chicago, was filled with so much good humor because the Lodge 7 contingent in attendance never stopped laughing for the two-plus hours of jesting. Some of it made fun of the Department; some of it was filled with words that can’t be printed here; some of it featured sex- ual innuendo – as you would expect.
From the cops who performed to legendary host Tom Dreesen – he used to open for Frank Sinatra – and Chi- cago Police Chaplains Father Dan Brandt and Rabbi Moshe Wolf, who provided their annual show-stopping finale, some of the best punchlines included:
McKenna: “If police officers have ride-alongs, do fire- fighters have sleepovers?”
Retired officer Pete Koconis, who has performed all four years: “They say to do comedy you should tell geni- talia jokes. Mine is no joke.”
Dreesen: “Did you see where Kim Kardashian held a press conference and said she would like to take a selfie with Jesus? Hasn’t Jesus suffered enough?”
Kenyatta Gaines, the first female officer to ever per- form and the opening act this year: “You know how it’s funny that in a group of men, I’m the first one up. Send in the fluffer.”
First-timer Rich Robles: “Let’s hear it for (100 Club Ex- ecutive Director) Joe Ahern. He’s the Hugh Hefner of the Gold Coast. He has a preferred card for Cialis.”
McKenna sent up two extensive bits that hit home with the police, including one about changes with the new superintendent: “They brought in three people to assist the new superintendent. One is a member of the news media. We all know about that relationship, so I’m sure that will work out great. The next one was someone from the Board of Education. We can only hope he can raise the standards of the Chicago Police Department to the
level of excellence the Chicago Public Schools enjoy. And the third is the for- mer superintendent of Spokane, Wash- ington. I was look- ing at the crime sta- tistics, the amount of shootings, homi- cides, crime running rampant and think-
ing, “If only we had someone from Spokane in Chicago? If there is someone to actually have a finger on the pulse of the situation in city of Chicago, the name Spokane comes to mind. What, was Butte, Montana, too busy to help us out?”
Ron Gaines, Kenyatta’s husband and the defending champion, on all the billboards along the highway ad- vertising gentlemen’s clubs: “I was driving with my son and we saw a sign for The Factory. He asked me, “Dad, what do they make at The Factory.” I said, “Son, they make it rain.”
Former champion Pat McGrath joined Ron Rufo and another newcomer, Milan Sipic, to author a night that Laugh Factory Proprietor Jamie Masada gladly hosted to help families of cops lost or catastrophically injured in the line of duty. As Dressen noted at the end, “My heart goes out to anybody who goes up on stage to make peo- ple laugh. You are all winners.”
The winner, as you might have guessed, was McKen- na. For more on a roaring night of laughter, read on. d
32 CHICAGO LODGE 7 ■ JULY 2016
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