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the war on stress

One Size Does Not Fit All

I’m going to suggest some strategies for reducing your stress
level. You’ll need to modify, adapt, add, and subtract depending
on your specific responses to potential stressors.

Your stress response is different from anyone else’s—one more
element that makes you uniquely you. We have different tolerances
for pain, different energy levels, different susceptibilities to and
predispositions for various diseases—and different tolerances for
stress. When folks like Witkin, Holmes, and Rahe assign points
to various stressors, they are at best predicting the response in the
“average” person—that strange being who makes $32,914 a year,
has 1.782 children, and doesn’t, in fact, exist.

You also have a unique perception of what is and isn’t stressful.
A round of golf on a Saturday morning may be relaxing for one and
a frustrating endurance test for another. It doesn’t depend on how
good you are at golf so much as on how much you care how good
you are. One person’s party is another person’s trial. Pay attention
to what stresses you and then do your best to compensate.

And now, without further explanation or introduction . . .

How You Can Reduce Your Stress Levels

1. Acknowledge and Honor Your Feelings

Some feelings seem unacceptable or even dangerous. Perhaps
you’ve learned that it’s not okay to be angry at your parents, to
think less than respectful thoughts about your minister, or to lust
after your best friend’s spouse. You can deny such feelings, but
you can’t stop feeling them, and the process of denial takes psy-
chic energy and creates stress. Feel what you feel. Then figure out
how you should act—or not act—on those feelings.

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