Page 81 - Relationships101 A Guide To Building Healthy Relationships Final 1

friend’s coping skills in dealing with illness and other health problems; and 4) Good
friends actually affect physiological pathways that are protective of health.

Frenemies

Frenemy: a blend of the words fr(iend) and enemy, the term frenemy refers to someone
who pretends to be a friend but is an enemy––a proverbial wolf in sheep’s clothing in the
world of friendships. Most people have encountered a frenemy at one time or another,
either at their school, job, or neighborhood where they live.

While most research on friendship and health has focused on the positive relationship
between the two, a frenemy is a potential source of irritation and stress. One study done by
psychologist Dr. Julianne Holt-Lunstad found that unpredictable love-hate relationships
characterized by ambivalence can lead to elevations in blood pressure. In a previous study,
the same researcher found that blood pressure is higher around friends for whom they have
mixed feelings than it is when they are around people whom they clearly dislike.

Love and Friendship

Love is closely related to friendship in that it involves strong interpersonal ties between
two or more people. Friendships are based on what is called platonic love. Platonic love is
a deep and non-romantic connection between two individuals. It is a love where the sexual
element does not enter.

Like family ties and intimate bonds, healthy friendship ties are based on a symbiotic
relationship. Do you remember this term from Chapter One: Relations? A symbiotic
relationship is a relationship between two entities that is mutually beneficial for the
participants of the relationship. Thus, there is a positive-sum gain from cooperation. Do not
forget this. This should be the foundation for all your relationships to have a positive-sum
outcome for all involved: significant others, family members, and friends who interact with
you.

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