Page 19 - Perspectives Vol.15 Issue 2

The resulting behavior was impacting our naturally inclusive environment. As evidenced by the training in which we were all participating, diversity, equity, and inclusion is an important part of our company culture.
One leader volunteered that because of his busy schedule,
he often invited peers and employees to dinner to continue conversations started at work. He later found out that his invitations made some women uncomfortable, and he was dismayed that he had caused that. So, he decided he wouldn’t invite any females to solo dinners anymore.
This is a great example of why gender sensitivity and inclusion are so difficult to navigate. This leader’s intentions were good—both before, when he issued the invites, and after, when he decided to stop that practice for fear of miscommunication. What he didn’t consider is that if he only invited male colleagues to dinner, he was excluding the females he worked with from opportunity. That could be an opportunity to learn or be mentored. It could be an opportunity to have influence in decisions being made,
an opportunity to build a relationship that may impact career opportunities, or a dozen other things. All business discussions and decisions are not going to happen in the office. Thus, the conundrum.
So, what can you do? The good news is, there
are options, and it starts with having an open conversation. If you thought about the scenario above and immediately thought, “He’s right; it’s too risky,” or “That’s ridiculous; of course he should be able to have dinner,” you may have some type of unconscious bias, depending on the circumstances and individuals involved.
Instead, ask yourself, under
what circumstances could this opportunity happen in which
both of us could benefit? To
determine that, you need to talk to
the individual and establish what type of communications and meetings are most effective and comfortable, so that you can
If you are on the other side of this discussion, you could say, “Thank you for the invitation. I really would like to discuss this further with you, but I’d rather meet for coffee in the morning or sometime later this week. Do you have availability?”
Like any awkward or difficult conversation, it takes practice and deliberate consciousness of the goals. Some of the women in our leadership team acknowledged that it’s not going to be easy to work through all of these conversations, and it’s likely that there will probably be more confusion, mess-ups, and awkwardness. However, we all committed to openly discussing these moments and helping each other gain better understanding of the other side of the opportunity. It’s by working together that we can support one another, and this all becomes easier.
Like any awkward or difficult conversation, it takes practice and deliberate consciousness of the goals.
be an inclusive leader and the individual
can have equal access.
An example of how this might be handled:
“I’d love to finish this conversation with you. I
have some free time tonight, if you’d like to join me for a work dinner, or we can reschedule later this week. Whatever is most comfortable and works best for you.”
2020 Perspectives 17