Page 90 - NS 2024

“What do you mean? Lyssa, we talked about this before, having kids is our whole purpose. If we don’t have children, we are nothing. What more could you want out of this life than motherhood?”
The rhetoric was familiar to Lyssa. That is exactly what they had been taught since birth. Entire sermons were dedicated to teaching young girls their place in the world. Motherhood was the greatest gift of all, one that came directly from the Almighty. So why didn’t she want it?
“I don’t know. I just feel like I shouldn’t have to have kids if I don’t want to.” Lyssa’s hands were shaking as she said this.
“So what, are you just not going to follow the Law? Are you going to go against the Almighty and, what, refuse to have kids? Do you hear how insane you sound Lyssa?” “How do you know that having kids is all there is? How do you know we couldn’t do something else if we wanted to?”
“I want kids. That is what I want.” Elaine was standing now, her face red. She didn’t wait for Lyssa’s response, she simply turned on her heels and marched towards her own bed. She faced away from Lyssa and didn’t speak again.
That morning, Lyssa awoke to a white lily sitting on her stomach. Her heart sank and tears welled in her eyes. This was not supposed to happen. She held the lily in her hand, rolling it between her fingers. Elaine sat up in bed, hands flying to her stomach. She turned towards Lyssa, her face stricken with grief. She spotted the flower in Lyssa’s hand and her grief mingled with rage.
“You...you don’t even want kids. You said that you didn’t want to be a mother.” “Elaine...” Lyssa started.