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teacher friend

I met Sudarshan in 2017 when I started working at Suburban, fresh out of residency. We were often scheduled
to work on the same weeks, and he was always kind and encouraging as I navigated the early years of life as
an attending physician and hospitalist. We were scheduled to work together at the end of March, when he called out sick with a fever. I texted
him to see how he was feeling and checked in on him at several points during the week. During the last

I remember many days where we were the only two people left in the office, and as we finished up our text exchange we ever had, I asked him how he was feeling, and he told me he was better. I was dismayed
notes, Sudarshan would not only give me career advice but also life advice. Oftentimes I would to find out less than 48 hours later that he was in the ICU.
recount stories from the day, sometimes upset about sick patients and delays in care, and on other
faith
occasions, frustrated with the U.S. health care system in general. Sudarshan would often smile and tell It still feels surreal to think that I will never see my friend again. That he will never walk into the
optimistic
me not to worry. “The universe always has a plan,” he would tell me. office and get mad at me for taking his chair. That I will never be able to ask him again for advice
about patients or my finances. I keep thinking that he is on a long walk or vacation somewhere,

There were many days when I was running around, working my way through lunch so I could get my and that I will turn around and see him walk through the door of the hospital, holding a cup
work done and get home on time at the end of the day. Sudarshan would always encourage me to stop and of tea and laughing.
relax. “Your day will go so much better if you just take a break,” he would say. Sadly, I didn’t believe him at
first. During my years of school and training, I was always on the go. Why stop now? Over time, I came to I will always remember the lessons he tried to teach me — to take time for myself and to have a life
realize that he had a point, although I never admitted this. Every once in a while, I would agree to stop for outside of medicine — to remember that medicine cannot solve everything.
lunch, or for a cup of tea in the afternoon (one of his favorite things to do), and I was always in a better
“The problem humans have is that we think we have control over life. It does what it does.
mood when I got back to work. It also never took as much time as I expected. life advice
We are just nature’s guests for a very short time. Life always goes on. It all comes down to if you
Sudarshan was both a teacher and friend to me. Just before the start of the pandemic, I struggled with the loss have faith in this magical place or not.”
of my grandfather. He helped me to navigate this, telling me how he had coped with the loss of his parents. We

were both first assigned to take care of COVID patients in the first month of the pandemic, and I remember Until we meet again, friend.
experiencing a feeling of helplessness, as nothing I did seemed to really help the patients. I also felt angry as I —Isha Misra, M.D.
kind
saw how politicized mask wearing had become and as I saw the numbers rise. Sudarshan remained optimistic
throughout this time, sending me articles and videos about COVID, or just trying to teach me various life lessons.
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