Page 123 - The snake's pass

CONFIDENCES. Ill
ever, I gave the message to the old man, to which he
promised to attend, and had a drink of milk, which is
the hospitality of the west of Ireland farmhouse. Then,
in the most nonchalant way I could, I began to saunter
up the hill.
I loitered awhile here and there on the way up. I
diverted my steps now and then as if to make inquiry
into some interesting object. I tapped rocks and turned
stones over, to the discomfiture of various swollen pale-
coloured worms and nests of creeping things. With the
end of my stick I dug up plants, and made here and
there unmeaning holes in the ground as though I were
actuated by some direct purpose known to myself and not
understood of others. In fact I acted as a hypocrite
in many harmless and unmeaning ways, and rendered
myself generally obnoxious to the fauna and flora of
Knocknacar.
As I approached the hill-top my heart beat loudly
and fast, and a general supineness took possession of my
limbs, and a dimness came over my sight and senses. I
had experienced something of the same feeling at other
times in my life—as, for instance, just before my first
fight when a school boy, and when I stood up to make
my maiden speech at the village debating society. Such
feelings—or lack of feelings—however, do not kill; and
it is the privilege and strength of advancing years to
know this fact.
I proceeded up the hill. I did not whistle this
time, or hum, or make any noise—matters were far too