Page 110 - The Midnight Library
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                   ‘ e only way to learn is to live.’

                   And     she   went    on    in   this   manner     for   another    twenty     minutes,
                remembering  as  much  as  possible  of  what  Mrs  Elm  had  told  her,  and  then
                she looked down at her hands, glowing white from the light of the lectern.
                   As  she  absorbed  the  sight  of  a  raised,  thin  pink  line  of  flesh,  she  knew  the

                scar  was  self-inflicted,  and  it  put  her  off  her  flow.  Or  rather,  put  her  into  a
                new one.
                   ‘And  .  .  .  and  the  thing  is  .  .  .  the  thing  is  .  .  .  what  we  consider  to  be  the
                most successful route for us to take, actually isn’t. Because too oen our view

                of  success  is  about  some  external  bullshit  idea  of  achievement  –  an  Olympic
                medal,  the  ideal  husband,  a  good  salar y.  And  we  have  all  these  met rics  that
                we  tr y  and  reach.  When  really  success  isn’t  something  you  measure,  and  life
                isn’t a race you can win. It’s all . . . bollocks, actually . . .’

                   e  audience  definitely  looked  uncomfortable  now.  Clearly  this  was  not
                the speech they were expecting. She  scanned the  crowd and saw a single  face
                smiling up at her. It took a second, given the  fact that he  was smartly dressed
                in a blue cotton shirt and with hair far shorter than it was in his Bedford life,

                for   her   to   realise   it   was   Ravi.   is   Ravi   looked   friendly,   but   she   couldn’t
                shake  the  knowledge  of  the  other  Ravi,  the  one  who  had  stormed  out  of  the
                newsagent’s,  sulking  about  not  being  able  to  afford  a  magazine  and  blaming
                her for it.

                   ‘You   see,   I   know   that   you   were   expecting   my   TED   talk   on   the   path   to
                success.  But  the  truth  is  that  success  is  a  delusion.  It’s  all  a  delusion.  I  mean,
                yes,  there  are  things  we  can  overcome.  For  instance,  I  am  someone  who  gets
                stage  fright  and  yet,  here  I  am,  on  a  stage.  Look  at  me  .  .  .  on  a  stage!  And

                someone  told  me  recently,  they  told  me  that  my  problem  isn’t  actually  stage
                fright.  My  problem  is  life  fright.  And  you  know  what?  ey’re  fucking  right.
                Because  life  is  frightening,  and  it  is  frightening  for  a  reason,  and  the  reason
                is  that  it  doesn’t  matter  which  branch  of  a  life  we  get  to  live,  we  are  always

                the   same   rotten   tree.   I   wanted   to   be   many   things   in   my   life.   All   kinds   of
                things.  But  if  your  life  is  rotten,  it  will  be  rotten  no  matter  what  you  do.  e
                damp rots the whole useless thing . . .’
                   Joe  was  desperately  slicing  his  hand  in  the  air  around  his  neck,  making  a

                ‘cut it’ gesture.
                   ‘Anyway,  just  be  kind  and  .  .  .  Just  be  kind.  I  have  a  feeling  I  am  about  to
                go, so I would just like to say I love  my brother Joe. I love  you, brother, and I
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