Page 147 - The Midnight Library

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If Something Is Happening to Me, I Want to Be ere

It was a ver y pleasant sensation. Both the kiss, and the knowledge she could

be this for ward. Being aware that ever ything that could possibly happen
happened to her somewhere, in some life, kind of absolved her a little from
decisions. at was just the reality of the universal wave function. Whatever
was happening could – she reasoned – be put down to quantum physics.
‘I don’t share a room,’ he said.

She stared at him fearlessly now, as if facing down a polar bear had given
her a certain capacity for dominance she’d never been aware of. ‘Well, Hugo,
maybe you could break the habit.’

But the sex turned out to be a disappointment. A Camus quote came to
her, right in the middle of it.
I may have not been sure about what really did interest me, but I was
absolutely sure about what didn’t.
It probably wasn’t the best sign of how their nocturnal encounter was

going, that she was thinking of Existential philosophy, or that this quote in
particular was the one that appeared in her mind. But hadn’t Camus also
said, ‘If something is going to happen to me, I want to be there’?

Hugo, she concluded, was a strange person. For a man who had been so
intimate and deep in his conversation, he was ver y det ached from the
moment. Maybe if you lived as many lives as he had, the only person you
really had any kind of intimate relationship with was yourself. She felt like
she might not have been there at all.

And in a few moments, she wasn’t.