Page 149 - The Midnight Library
P. 149
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‘ e fact that you have so thoroughly changed your attitude towards
dying.’
‘What?’
‘You wanted to die and now you don’t.’
It dawned on Nora that Mrs Elm might be close to having a point,
although not quite the whole point. ‘Well, I still think my actual life isn’t
worth living. In fact, this experience has just managed to confirm that.’
She shook her head. ‘I don’t think you think that.’
‘I do think that. at’s why I said it.’
‘No. e Book of Regrets is getting lighter. ere’s a lot of white space in
there now . . . It seems that you have spent all your life saying things that you
aren’t really thinking. is is one of your barriers.’
‘Barriers?’
‘Yes. You have a lot of them. ey stop you from seeing the truth.’
‘About what?’
‘About yourself. And you really need to start tr ying. To see the truth.
Because this matters.’
‘I thought there were an infinite number of lives to choose from.’
‘You need to pick the life you’d be most happy inside. Or soon there won’t
be a choice at all.’
‘I met someone who has been doing this for a long time and he still hasn’t
found a life that he is satisfied with . . .’
‘Well, Hugo’s is a privilege you might not have.’
‘Hugo? How do you—’
But then she remembered Mrs Elm knew a lot more than she should.
‘You need to choose carefully,’ continued the librarian. ‘One day the
librar y may not be here and you’ll be gone for ever.’
‘How many lives do I have?’
‘ is isn’t a magic lamp and I am no genie. ere is no set number. It
could be one. It could be a hundred. But you only have an infinite number of
lives to choose from so long as the time in the Midnight Librar y stays, well,
at midnight. Because while it stays at midnight, your life – your root life – is
somewhere between life and death. If time moves here, that means
something ver y . . .’ She searched for a delicate word. ‘. . . decisive has
happened. Something that razes the Midnight Librar y to the ground, and
takes us with it. And so I would err on the side of caution. I would tr y to