Page 46 - The Midnight Library

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the feeling that her life was out of her own control. e wedding seemed

such a symptom of this chaotic feeling, that she felt tied to a train track, and
the only way she could loosen the ropes and free herself was to pull out of
the wedding. ough, in reality, staying in Bedford and being single, and
letting Izzy down about their Australia plans, and starting work at String

eor y, and getting a cat, had all felt like the opposite of freedom.
‘Oh no,’ said Mrs Elm, breaking Nora’s thoughts. ‘It’s too much for you.’
And suddenly she was back feeling all this contrition, all that pain of
letting people down and letting herself down, the pain she had tried to

escape less than an hour ago. e regrets began to swarm together. In fact,
while staring at the open pages of the book, the pain was actually worse than
it had been wandering around Bedford. e power of all the regrets
simultaneously emanating from the book was becoming agony. e weight

of guilt and remorse and sorrow too strong. She leaned back on her elbows,
dropped the heavy book and squeezed her eyes shut. She could hardly
breathe, as if invisible hands were around her neck.
‘Make it stop!’

‘Close it now,’ instructed Mrs Elm. ‘Close the book. Not just your eyes.
Close it. You have to do it yourself.’
So Nora, feeling like she was about to pass out, sat back up and placed her
hand under the front cover. It felt even heavier now but she managed to

close the book and gasped in relief.