Page 71 - The Midnight Library
P. 71

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                wanted you to say his name, so that you would feel something.’

                   Nora    was   hot   with   agitation   now.   ‘ at’s   even   worse!   You   sent   me   into
                that   life   knowing   Volts   would   be   dead.   And   Volts   was   dead.   So,   nothing
                changed.’
                   Mrs Elm’s eyes twinkled again. ‘Except you.’

                   ‘What do you mean?’
                   ‘Well, you don’t see yourself as a bad cat owner any more. You looked aer
                him as well as he could have been looked aer. He  loved you as much as you
                loved  him,  and  maybe  he  didn’t  want  you  to  see  him  die.  You  see,  cats  know.

                ey    understand     when    their   time   is   up.   He   went   outside   because   he   was
                going to die, and he knew it.’
                   Nora tried to take this in. Now she  thought about it, there hadn’t been any
                external  signs  of  damage  on  her  cat’s  body.  She  had  just  jumped  to  the  same

                conclusion     that   Ash   had   jumped    to.   at   a   dead   cat   on   the   road   was
                probably dead because of the road. And if a surgeon could think that, a mere
                layperson would think that too. Two plus two equals car accident.
                   ‘Poor Volts,’ Nora muttered, mournfully.

                   Mrs Elm smiled, like a teacher who saw a lesson being understood.
                   ‘He  loved  you,  Nora.  You  looked  aer  him  as  well  as  anyone        could.  Go
                and look at the last page of e Book of Regrets.’
                   Nora could see that the book was lying on the  floor. She  knelt on the  floor

                beside it.
                   ‘I don’t want to open it again.’
                   ‘Don’t worr y. It will be safer this time. Just stick to the last page.’
                   Once she had flicked to the last page, she  saw one of her ver y last regrets –

                ‘I  was  bad  at  looking  aer  Voltaire’  –  slowly  disappear  from  the  page.  e
                letters fading like retreating strangers in a fog.
                   Nora closed the book before she could feel anything bad happen.
                   ‘So,   you   see?   Sometimes   regrets   aren’t   based   on   fact   at   all.   Somet imes

                regrets  are  just  .  .  .’  She  searched  for  the  appropriate  term  and  found  it.  ‘A
                load of bullshit.’
                   Nora  tried  to  think  back  to  her  schooldays,  to  remember  if  Mrs  Elm  had
                said the word ‘bullshit’ before, and she was pretty sure she hadn’t.

                   ‘But  I  still  don’t  get  why  you  let  me  go  into  that  life  if  you  knew  Volts  was
                going  to  be  dead  anyway?  You  could  have  told  me.  You  could  have  just  told
                me I wasn’t a bad cat owner. Why didn’t you?’
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