Page 82 - The Midnight Library
P. 82
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She sat on the sofa and waited for a few moments, watching.
e woman’s avatar got shot in the head.
‘Piss off, you zombie fuckface,’ the woman snarled happily at the screen.
She picked up the vape pen. Nora wondered how she knew this woman.
She was assuming they were flatmates.
‘I’ve been thinking about what you said.’
‘What did I say?’ Nora asked.
‘About doing some cat-sitting. You know, you wanted to look aer that
cat?’
‘Oh yeah. Sure. I remember.’
‘Bad fucking idea, man.’
‘Really?’
‘Cats.’
‘What about them?’
‘ ey’ve got a parasite. Toxoplas-something.’
Nora knew this. She had known this since she was a teen, doing her work
experience at Bedford Animal Rescue Centre. ‘ Toxoplasmosis.’
‘ at’s it! Well, I was listening to this podcast, right . . . and there’s this
theor y that this international group of billionaires infected the cats with it so
that they could take over the world by making humans dumber and dumber.
I mean, think about it. ere are cats ever ywhere. I was talking to Jared
about this and Jared said, “Jojo, what are you smoking?” And I was like, “ e
stuff you gave me” and he said, “Yeah, I know.” en he told me about the
grasshoppers.’
‘Grasshoppers?’
‘Yeah. Did you hear about grasshoppers?’ Jojo asked.
‘What about them?’
‘ ey are all killing themselves. Because this parasitic worm grows inside
them, to become like a full-grown aquatic creature, and as it grows it takes
over the brain function of the grasshopper, so the grasshopper thinks, “Hey,
I really like water” and so they divebomb into water and die. And it’s
happening all the time. Google it. Google “grasshopper suicide”. Anyway, the
point is, the elites are killing us via cats and so you shouldn’t be near them.’
Nora couldn’t help thinking how different this life was to her imagined
version of it. She had pictured herself and Izzy on a boat near Byron Bay,
mar velling at the magnificence of humpback whales, and yet she was here in
