Page 86 - The Midnight Library

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going to stay there in that flat, with Jojo, and never move until she was made

to leave the countr y.
Maybe even suicide would have been too active. Maybe in some lives you
just float around and expect nothing else and don’t even tr y to change.
Maybe that was most lives.

‘Yes,’ said Nora, aloud now. ‘Maybe I got stuck. Maybe in ever y life I am
stuck. I mean, maybe that’s just who I am. A starfish in ever y life is still a
starfish. ere isn’t a life where a starfish is a professor of aerospace
engineering. And maybe there isn’t a life where I’m not stuck.’

‘Well, I think you are wrong.’
‘Okay, then. I would like to tr y the life where I am not stuck. What life
would that be?’
‘Aren’t you supposed to tell me?’

Mrs Elm moved a queen to take a pawn, then turned the board around.
‘I’m afraid I am just the librarian.’
‘Librarians have knowledge. ey guide you to the right books. e right
worlds. ey find the best places. Like soul-enhanced search engines.’

‘Exactly. But you also have to know what you like. What to type into the
metaphorical search box. And sometimes you have to tr y a few things before
that becomes clear.’
‘I haven’t got the stamina. I don’t think I can do this.’

‘ e only way to learn is to live.’
‘Yes. So you keep saying.’
Nora exhaled heavily. It was interesting to know that she could exhale in
the librar y. at she felt entirely in her body. at it felt normal. Because this

place was definitely not normal. And the real physical her wasn’t here. It
couldn’t be. And yet it was, to all intents and purposes, because she was – in
some sense – there. Standing on a floor, as if gravity still existed.
‘Okay,’ she said. ‘I would like a life where I am successful.’

Mrs Elm tutted disapprovingly. ‘For someone who has read a lot of books,
you aren’t ver y specific with your choice of words.’
‘Sorr y.’
‘Success. What does that mean to you? Money?’

‘No. Well, maybe. But that wouldn’t be the defining feature.’
‘Well, then, what is success?’
Nora had no idea what success was. She had felt like a failure for so long.